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How do i get my 11year to quit the white lies?

My 11 year old boy will tell white liesand then defend his lie by saying he was joking. I say again and again a lie is a lie but this wont stop. we have tried taking away prievilges, grounding and even soap in the mouth please help.

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Asked by combster at 2:10 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • Do the same back to him a couple times. He will hate it like mine did. It worked for her when I asked her about how it felt to her.

    Answer by cat4458 at 2:15 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • eww soap in the mouth!!! lol anyways make his butt stay in his room with nothing but his bed and dresser in his room! and stick to it! do it for a few days and he will realize you mean buisness!

    Answer by 4lyfe56 at 2:16 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • You need to explain what a lie is if he doesn't know. My step son habitually lies even at age 13 and it is a problem. We have him write a letter of appology and also write why lying is wrong (ie it destroys trust). I would explain that trust is important for parents and kids so that they can have more privilages and responsiblities. an old saying was...Idol hands are work of the keep him busy and give him extra work/chores when he does lie too...this will help

    Answer by 3kidsatonce at 2:27 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Putting soap in a child's mouth is now considered a form of child abuse in some states and you could be reported to social services if your child tells anyone what you did. It's not like when we were kids anymore.

    Answer by goinginsane1 at 2:32 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • In response to your question, I was having the same problem with my 11 year old son. I learned that yelling and giving him lectures on how lying is wrong got me no were but further away from him and receiving more lies from him. I know explain that I know that "blank subject" is a lie, I promise (and keep it) that what ever truth he tells me will not get him in to trouble. And I ask a few curiosity questions to get more information out of him and to get him to understand what he did wrong and what were better choices he should make next time. ex: What were you trying to accomplish? What did you learn from this? How can this help you with future choices? and What ideas do you have as a solution to our problem?
    When he lies, you already must know what the truth is because by know you were able to catch him in his lie, so don't ask "Why did you do (or say) that?" Cause all he is going to do is give you another lie.

    Answer by BabyTeacher422 at 6:20 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • My 10 yr old lies to me too but he hasn't lied for awhile now, i have tried everything in the book and it just wasn't working and some of the punishment won't work for the ween yrs so i came up with something different i have a blue bag and what i did was write down things that he hates to do for a chore and i make him pick out of that bag and he has to do that chore for a week but the chores i use is like pick up the dog poo in the yard. fold clothes witch i have like 3 loads for him to do, clean the whole bathroom, make him pick up his brothers toys... maybe this will help you

    Answer by semiwife at 3:01 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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