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4 Bumps

If your parents divorced because of infidelity how did that affect you as their child?


Asked by pookiekins34 at 11:29 AM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (30,646 Credits)
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Answers (14)
  • My husbands parents both had unfaithful spouses before marring each other, his father talks so poorly of the way his ex treated him and their kids. My husband always talks about how low someone must feel to cheat on their spouse. It has defined a part of him, even though it was his parents that cheated,

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:33 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My dad cheated on my mom.
    He and I no longer speak.
    I can't imagine talking to him again after watching my mom hurt like she did.
    My brother will not talk to him.
    I have trust issues because of it.
    You can see why the trust thing affects my marriage now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I didnt find out until I was grown that my father had been unfaithful to my mother. And, the way I found out was I had a boyfriend cheat on me, so I was heart broken and bitter, and I yelled at my mother who was trying to console me that she "didnt know how I felt". She kinda grinned (that pity, knowing grin), and very simply explained that she knew all to well how I felt because my father had done it to her. She was very careful how she told me, and didnt get into details. Just said enough for me to know she DID understand how I was feeling. I've pieced the story together in the years since. But, as a child, my mother didnt allow us children to know about it. They had their fights, and we (children) were stuck in the middle of bitter wars between them, but we were never exposed to the dirty secrets.

    Answer by mlmkjw at 12:37 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I had to live in the he did, she did world of divorce. My dad cheated on my mom before I was born with 2 different women. They got back together and concieved me (the only good thing). They separated again when I was 6 months and the divorce was final when I was 18 months. All my childhood was visitations with dad and listening to how bad my mom is and visa versa with my mom. I still have to referee not between my mom and dad but my mom and stepmom. My step mom and dad will not attend any funtions (such as birthday parties) if my mom is there. However my daughter had surgery the other day and my dad came even though my mom was there too but not my SM (in her defense she was working). I now know where the problem lies. It has been hell and I'm tired of the childish crap my parents brought on themselves.

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 6:06 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My parents didn't but I would imagine it would make for some nasty trust issues. The idea of cheating not affecting the kids is obtuse.

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:31 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • didn't happen to me but id probably tell myself i'm never going to do that when i grow up

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 11:34 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • now that i think about it my mom cheated on my dad but they didnt divorce. no intercourse but it def effected the family. my bf at the time did it to me too so my dad and i were hurting at the same time. it made me realize people are never satisfied

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 11:37 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • e found out dad had a second family on the east coast. traveling for work benefited him. mom left him and refuses to date let alone remarry. i will not marry

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My mom cheated on my dad (I was out of the house already), but it caused horrible drama and fights in the house and the kids would constantly call me crying and upset, they finally divorced and I have very little respect for my mom.


    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 11:41 AM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • my "dad" cheated on my mom. even when i was little, i knew. my mom tried to hide it but i always knew. he was a cheating, abusive bastard. my mom threw him out finally when she had saved some money up. I had mixed feelings about him until i was 16. By 18 i wanted nothing to do with him. I hated him. I still hate him. If i ever speak to him again it will be "good riddens" over his fresh grave. It wasn't so much the abuse as it was the lying and betrayal. I feel like he not only lied and betrayed my mother, but us kids too.

    The result? I have NEVER cheated. I will sooner 'break up' with someone than cheat. I have more respect for myself than to be a lying scumbag.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Jul. 12, 2011