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3 Bumps

Help me survive an emotional affair SO is/was having...

I realize now how much we have been disconnected. Our son is 3yo n was born w health issues. I understand now I put all my effort on my son to be a perfect mom but ignored my role as a wife. I was no longer affectionate, I didn't include him in our son's child raising, I didn't make time to spend alone w SO. As I said, my focus was only on my son. I now see that I treated him like a roommate. I didn't praise him for being a great father. I criticized him for not being a mom. I realize I was partly to blame for our disconnect. But now he's having an emotional affair that I caught n he wants to end our relationship. I'm 38 wks pregnant! I know that I only have control over my actions but how can I help myself survive this?!

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Vero0724

Asked by Vero0724 at 12:51 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,530 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Tough one was it only an emotional affair? then try to move on & be more tentative to your husband & his needs & show your love more and include him in raising your son? thats very important for your son also. GL to you I hope you guys can over come this & move on happily. Make sure you have a special date night once in a while.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 1:06 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Now that you've realized what YOU were doing, maybe try focusing some more time on your SO. Ask him to give it a shot, it could be like falling in love all over again. Tell him what he means to you, all day, every day. Good luck hun. I know it's gotta be rough, but I wouldn't just let him walk away from the family without giving it another shot.
    something_

    Answer by something_ at 1:06 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Wouldn't it be nice if our spouses TOLD US their needs so we could meet them?

    I have no advice other than to talk and talk and talk about it, but I wanted to lend you some support, mama. You are stronger than you think and either this will get worked out or you will be strong by yourself until you find someone who loves you and appreciates you.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:08 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • stay strong! you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 1:10 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Even though you know the role you played in your relationship, it doesn't justify him having an emotional affair with another woman nor does it justify him wanting out of the relationship for that reason. Communication in a relationship is essential to surviving during the most difficult of times.... so don't beat yourself up too bad over your role. Its time that the two of you have a heart to heart talk to see if the relationship can be restored again.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:16 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • You are blaming yourself and accepting fault for something he did. Sure, it takes 2 to work on communication but him cheating on you is strictly his fault.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 1:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • First of all STOP BLAMING YOURSELF! He should have done the same things as you and put your son's needs first instead of using your "neglect" as an excuse to have an affair and separate.

    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 9:49 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

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