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Need help with step children

I just moved in with my boyfriend and we have been dating a while and now living together, the thing is right now his daugther who is 19yrs old is here for the summer. She is a good kids and likes me but now that I moved in she seems to be testing me on everything to the point I feel uncomfoctable when I get home. her mom is away and really never in the picture and my boyfriend is a truck driver and he is here on the weekend. He has 3 kids total and I have 2 also but she is the only one I have a issue with and I'm at the point of looking for a place again but she is leaving in August but I dont know what to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Well she's not your step child anyway, cause ya'll aren't married but just remember, she was there first. She didn't choose you, you and her dad chose the situation. She will only be there another month anway.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 2:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • She's a teenager, she probably feels like another woman is intimidating. Sometime teenagers are just impossible. Maybe try to be her friend and let dad discipline, unless of course she's hurting the other kids or you.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I say try and stick it out til she's gone. 19 is a tough age, try to be the bigger person and stay out of each others way.
    LadybugTash

    Answer by LadybugTash at 2:06 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • dude. she's nineteen. she doesn't need a mommy. stop thinking of her as your step daughter, and think of her as your boyfriend's daughter. she won't think of you as her stepmother - ever. you're her dad's girlfriend, and if you get married, her dad's wife. don't treat her like a child. she's an adult, treat her accordingly. you're dating her dad, for crying out loud.
    what you could do, is ask her opinion on things. such as how to deal with the younger siblings. ask, what do YOU think? treat her like an adult. hopefully that helps ease some tension. good luck!
    AngryBob

    Answer by AngryBob at 2:16 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I like angrybob's response.. she is an adult and she isn't your step child so.. treat her as such and you'll get a lot farther besides she's a teenager and knows everything already!! lol. just live with her don't think of her as someone you have to "deal" with. Also, if she doesn't like you -- you can have issues.. what is she testing you on? She follows her dad's rules not yours and in his absence (like if you weren't there) her own. Just back off.. you'll do well. Good luck.
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 2:23 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • She is just trying to see if she can push you over and walk all over you. I like Angryob's answer. Eventually you maybe the step mom. Maybe try taking her out for girl time? Im not saying be her best friend, but maybe a friend that she has to listen to to an extent.
    baquick

    Answer by baquick at 10:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

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