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What would you do?

We got a message today from bio mom saying we can pick the kids up for Christmas day. We really want the kids here but she has burned us many many many times before by telling us we can have the kids but then she backs out. We want to believe her but in the same thought we don't really have the extra money with Christmas around the corner to spend a day driving. We did that already last month, we live in different states. What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • well, I don't really understand those terms, but if she continuously stands you up..she probably will again..the best predictor of the future is the past.. I would not bad as it hurts to kinda teach her a lesson. The question is..What is less hurtful..Not seeing them? OR Her not following through after you went to all that trouble?

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 7:34 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • If you can possibly get the money together then go. I suspect you'd be sad otherwise.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:00 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Tell her to meet you half way.

    Answer by salexander at 3:27 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • If I were you Id tell her to meet u guys half way that way she cant back out. My DHs baby mom does the same thing. it is annoying and disrespectull. People have lives they cant be sitting around waiting and jump everytime they say "jump." we now making her meet us halfway every time we make plans. It works well.

    Answer by aznblond9 at 3:37 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • My dh told her that he will meet her half way (gave her city/date/time/exit number/interstate number) but we don't know whether she will show up or not. I hope this works, I really do want to see them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • BTW the answer at 3:50 pm is the OP as well as this one... Meant to put that in there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Who is suppose to have them? As for us, we got tired of that same old days..extra time..ect. We finally had to put an end to it and go strictly by the papers..not the best option for the kids, but there weren't broken hearts.

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 3:51 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • That is actually part of the problem. She has physical with my dh having "liberal and reasonable visitation" well she doesn't think that any time in 6 months is reasonable when we have made MANY requests with different dates and times, even offering to drive both ways (because when we bring up half way she says it's not in the court order). I'm torn, I want to see them so badly (we fear for their safety in the first place) but I don't want to take away time from my other kids to find out she changed her mind again.... BTW this is OP.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Drive to the same state the kids are in a couple days before if possible, and show up on the doorstep at the time she is supposed to leave with them to bring them to you. Even half day before. That way you are there, you can let her know you wanted to make it easier for her during the holidays.

    It worked for me.
    Good Luck.

    Answer by PokeYouInDaEye at 5:14 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • We talked to her again and realize now she never was going to let them come. Looks like our plans and hopes of a full family Christmas is gone. Thanks to all those that responded.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Dec. 17, 2008