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Advice needed please

I have been with my husband for 8 years now.He has 2 boys ages 20 and 18, and I have a son that is 24 and married. In the time that we have been together he has made it very hard for me to have a relationship with his boys. From the beginning he has tought his boys that it was alright to disobey me and to treat me badly. He has always felt guilty about his break up from thier mother,its like he has to make it up to them.( the boys stayed with us. )My husband has always made it a point to let me know that the boys weren't mine and that he and his ex where thier parents. He still has feelings for the ex. In fact I would say that he is still in love with her.. He claims not to be, but anytime we are out and we see the ex he may as well push me down and walk on me to get to her, it is like he doesn't want her to see us together. I don't know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You are putting up with inexcusable behavior and you deserve to be treated better. The man has control issues and you need to leave him! It pisses me off that women put up with men like this!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • This treatment is not fair to you. At the very least get marriage counseling. If he won't go to, go by yourself.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:09 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • If I were you I would be getting out of the relationship, asap.You have put up with this disrespectfulman for 8 years. You don't need a man to treat you like a second class citizen. That saying " I can do bad all by my self".

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:10 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • And you put up with this??hmmm Well for 1 he has No Respect for you! and has taught his children that it is ok to disrespect you as well. I am guessing you do not have a very open line of communication between you two? Because I think i would question, his love and loyality to you. You are the boys step mother, and should be respected! I would also question his feelings about the ex. and clear up any misunderstandings there might be, or if its not a misunderstanding.....
    open communication!
    mamameya88

    Answer by mamameya88 at 3:15 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I have asked him about his feelings for his ex and he tells me that he is not in love with her any more, but his actions tell me otherwise. And I have tried to talk about the problems with the boys but when I do he becomes very offensive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • *nodding* It really sounds like marriage counseling is needed. You are not in a good situation.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:40 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Have you tried discussing his behavior with him? Does he know that he is disrespecting you this way? If you have and he continues - it is time for counseling. And if that doesn't work, well, it sounds like he is not concerned with your feelings and that can destroy your love for him.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Seriously think of all the years you have wasted being treated like this.....should clear your mind!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • if your best friend was asking you this exact same question the exact same way, what would you tell him/her?
    Follow your gut instinct..and your own good advice. The heart is the biggest deceiver.
    PokeYouInDaEye

    Answer by PokeYouInDaEye at 5:10 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Sounds like you would have been better off eight years ago if you had taken a stand against the way he treated you. I would start out with counseling myself and then suggest marriage counseling to him if you want to stay together and nothing has changed. You can let him know he is free to walk now if that's how you feel.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 5:35 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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