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2 Bumps

Soon to be ex son-in-law takes my grandson to the dentist and has 3 baby teeth pulled without notifing my daughter. He says that the dentist says they were abcessed. He has custody of child but they have both have joint physical and legal.

My daughter and son-in-law are fighting over custody of child. My daughter sent her son to live with estranged hubby due to her not having a steady job and he was home all day (unemployed). Shouldn't he had notified my daughter of the process?

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oldmom55

Asked by oldmom55 at 5:59 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • sounds he doesn't care what her opinion is he feels he is in charge and will do what needs to to make sure the kids get what they need
    it is typical in these type of situations.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Ihate to say this .. my lawyer told my DH and I this ... that even though they have joint custody... and yes you would think if he was going to do that he would notify the mom.. but legally.. whom ever has physical custody at the time has the right to make any health decisions without notifying the other parent. We have had to go through the same thing with my DH ex. We are currently going through a custody battlle and they both have custody of our SD
    annabelle092810

    Answer by annabelle092810 at 6:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • The consent forms for the procedure requires only one parent for the signature.
    It is very important when going to this process to have the lawyer detail specifics about the custody. If both parties agree to something the agreement surpasses the law.
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 6:07 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • If they are currently fighting over custody, you can have it written in the order that anytime the child goes to the dr they have to notify the other parent so many days before the appointment so the other parent can be there. I have primary custody, but it's in our agreement that I have to notify my ex 5 days before any medical appointment, if it's an emergency I have to call him asap. I know it doesn't help now, but it's something to think about.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:14 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • He has as much right to make those decisions as your daughter does UNLESS there is a stipulation in the custody agreement.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:18 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • He does not have to call her & tell her. He is just as much a parent of their son as she is.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • really, if the dentist says it needed to be done, one parent can sign for it. Especially if they are not divorced yet
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:29 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I'm sure those teeth actually DID need to be pulled and he didn't do it just for the hell of it, so really, what's the big issue? He's as much the kid's parent as your daughter is, and obviously the dentist required only one parent's consent... If your daughter has an issue with that, I assume it's something they can address in the custody agreement.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 6:47 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Yes, he can legally do that. And if she wants any pull in the custody hearing, she should not have sent DS to live with dad, even IF she had a shitty living situation.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 6:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • the child had 3 absessed teeth and the mom didn't know it?? Of course he had to have them removed --before he got extremely ill.She is an idiot!!! At least the father was smart enough to take the kid to theDentist!!!! Maybe he should have full custody!!!!!
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 7:16 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

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