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How do accept my 5 year step son, and my husband exwife?

His son just gets on my last nerve!!! And the ex-wife trys to do anything she can to talk or be around my husband! Help :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • why did you marry him if his son gets on your nerves?
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 6:22 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I feel your pain... I just try to smile and go on..... kill with kindness just remember not to grip about to your husband it will get back to the x and she'll love the fact that she can piss you off!!!!!!!

    traren

    Answer by traren at 6:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • You should have dealt with this before you got married. Find something he likes and make yourself interested in it too, I don't know how old he is but find something that you two can bond over, a game, a hobby, a sport. Ignore the ex-wife she's going to be around for a long time so just learn to tune her out but be polite.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:25 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • You did not think before you married him did you? Most people man or women who have kids are a package deal.  If you want one you have to deal with both.  Learn to like the kid or leave the father and go find a man who does not have kids.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:27 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Hmmm.... I would have thought it to be a better idea to get to know and love this child before you got married (ex wife aside) You need to try and make common ties with this boy. Play with him, take him place, cook with him, suggest special places you can go as a family. I have to admit I feel kind of sad for this boy that you are another presents in his life and all you can say is he gets on your last nerve! I mean my kids get on my nerves but there is much more to our relationship. I hope there are good points you just left out...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:33 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Wow, what did you think, this boy and his mom were just going to go away so that your DH can start over with you? The son is there to stay, so is his mother so if you don't like it you might think about getting divorced
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:33 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Yeah I agree with everyones
    Packaged deal honey! If you plan on staying in this marriage for the long haul, you better learn to like the kid! If the little boy urks you that bad why did u marry him? I'm confuse
    kyheavensmom

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 6:52 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Ugh. I have a step mom in my kid's lives who thinks like you. Of course I need to talk to my ex-husband on a regular basis. We are parenting a child together and that requires LOTS of talking, communication, planning and coparenting. She's an idiot and doesn't understand this.

    You never should have married this man if you weren't ready to accept his son as he was and ready to deal with the fact that the exwife HAS to be a prominent figure in your family's life. You need classes on stepparenting.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 6:53 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • While I do agree with the others that you should have thought about that prior to marrying your dh, and truth be told, I feel bad for that boy, he probably knows you don't care for him, and you're now his step-mom; at least you are trying to figure out how to accept them. So what is it exactly that gets on your nerves? Why is the ex contacting your dh? Is it because of their son?
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 6:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I agree with the packaged deal thing and with the fact that you should have considered this before you said "I do." I feel bad for that child... You don't have to get along with the ex wife (lord knows I don't get along with my fiances ex wife, but I keep it to myself and let her act like a fool)...I keep it civil with her. I knew when I said yes to his proposal that it meant becoming a family and step mom to his little girl, whom I love and adore so i can't say I understand how you feel about your stepson getting on your nerves...he's a child sometimes they do things that "annoy" us but they're kids... I also knew that with marrying him and having his daughter in my life that it meant the mother would be there too.

    Why don't you try and find common ground with the little boy and try to build a relationship with him instead of looking at the "negative" ...I think perhaps you should try a class or talk to a counsellor
    RigPrincess85

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 7:38 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

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