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6 Bumps

I married a man and 3 months later, he found out his ex was pregnant *** added question

We were engaged but broke up for a month, then got back together a month before the wedding. Now, 3 months later, we found out that she got pregnant while we were broken up. Now she is 6 months pregnant and he insists on doing everything for her. He tells her she can call whenever and he will got out and get her anything she wants (like ice cream or take out or whatever) and goes to her appt. with her and they don't let me come. She told him she would let him be in the delivery room with her if he wants but says I can't even come to the hospital. I think I should be welcome anywhere my husband is. I don't blame either of them because we were broken up when it happened BUT we are married now and she needs to respect that. For the first 6 months, he won't be able to get visitation in court so she is letting him visit the baby but only at her house and again I can't come. BUT he is still going to be paying child support. He is already paying half of her medical bills and gave her money to buy maternity clothes. What do I do?

After seeing some responses, I would like to ask, would you support my decision to attempt to get an annulment?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (54)
  • I am so glad that you are kicking him to the curb you deserve so better than what he was going to give you. And I also would help you pack his things if I could.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 4:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Your husband couldn't keep his dick in his pants for a month? Is that the type of guy you want to be with? The guy who can't self-assess after a relationship and do some work on himself instead of fucking the first thing that bats an eyelash at him?

    Annul. You will be WAY better off.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 7:19 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • You find out what her problem with you is and address it. And you ask your husband to politely but firmly suggest that you be involved, as your wife and the baby's step mother.

    You have a good man that he is so willing and ready to be there for her. But she is exploiting his goodness and causing problems. It's time to try to put an end to that, without compromising his relationship with his child.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:08 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Dump him.

    You said, "but we are married now and she needs to respect that." Where it should read, "we are married now, and HE should respect that."

    Is he smoking crack?

    I would have dang sure put off a wedding if my fiance slept with someone else, breakup or no breakup. Jmo.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 7:16 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Honey,, you made a big mistake, and you can get an annulment for sure,,how is your big Catholic family going to feel when your hubbs has a daughter 8 months after you marry with someone else,, he wants to be involved with the child,,, he had sex shortly after breaking up with you , and then went ahead and married you,,,he MAY not even be the child's father,,,but YOU deserve a good life with no drama,, and I think if you get an annulment you would make your parents okay (I grew up strict and had one). Huggs to you,, and I think wanting to be in the delivery room would add EVEN more pain to what you have already been through,, I didn't mean to answer so harshly the first time,, but before you have kids with him,,,just do the right thing for YOURSELF!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:17 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • so he didn't tell you about it? that right there would be enough ammunition for me to leave. your marriage was built on lies thanks to him. he deprived you of the choice to decide if you still wanted his pathetic ass after he slept with someone else during your break up.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • LEAVE!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:07 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • i would leave him in his mess. don't let the catholic church dictate your happiness.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:11 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I believe he can give her some monetary support, but since you two are married, he does not have to run and do things for her. can she drive her own self?? I can't drive, and I was pregnant alone, with no man, and I am disabled, and I still didn't ask anyone to run the roads for me and do everything, your husband should be with you for the most part. caring for the child is fine, but how do you know the ex isn't trying to do everything she can to get back with him, while you are not there??
    bellejesse

    Answer by bellejesse at 7:13 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I wouldn't be allowing this to happen. He married YOU. Yes he may be having a child with her but that does not mean that he can attend to her every whim. He needs to choose between you and her. I would be VERYYYY suspicious if he is gonna be going over to see her and the baby or even go to appts and things like that by himself. I think if this were me, I'd leave. If your Catholic family knew about this situation, they would probably say the same...leave!
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 7:20 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

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