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Should I take him to therphy?

When do you know that your child has crossed the line from make believe/fanstay to crazy? Apparently in school when asked what he wanted for Christmas my son says a gun so he can kill his brother (which shocks me since they are pretty close). He says he wants to kill animals. That part except for how it was said is somewhat understood because he knows what hunting is and wants to get his license and go with our friends.

He also started having accidents at school. That is ½ medical because he was backed up and it hurt for him to go (the one was about the size of a baseball and you could here him in pain that day). So I think he is regressing again and deciding it is to painful.

I don’t know whether to take him to counseling whether it is a phase that will pass. There is a friend that I think he gets a lot of his ideas from and not sure whether to ban them from playing together again or not.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • "Birds of a feather flock together" Your son chooses who he hangs out with. It drives me up a wall when parents start blaming their child's friendm for their child's behavior! You can ban him from his friend, but he will just sneak around and hang out with him anyway.
    I don't know about the second paragraph-he should see a Dr..
    About killing his brother??? Maybe he was just trying to show off, but I wouldn't take any chances. Get some professional help:) Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Your child needs a mental evaluation and he needs it as quickly as you can make the appointment. It could be as simple as a chemical imbalance or struggling with onset of puberty. It could also be much more serious issue. It is in his best interest to act quickly.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:25 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • It's definitely not a bad idea to seek some professional advice. I have a master's in counseling and recommend that the family all go together. It can be difficult sometimes to single one of your kids out as being 'bad' or 'flawed,' leading to more difficult behavior. Go all together and voice your concerns for your family as a whole.
    allisoncane

    Answer by allisoncane at 3:26 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • No your son doesnt need therapy based on one drawing or one statement. If he is actively abusing animals, self injurious, hurting other children, or showing signs of child depression (acting out, defiant, cries often, set off easily, slipping grades etc) then you may want him screened by his pediatrician for that. If the doctor feels he needs more then what she can offer then you can get a referral to a therapist to help him. I am in school for this and although I would take your money if you brought him to me, I honestly wouldnt think anything was wrong based on what you have described.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:39 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • If he is acting this way and having trouble with his bowels, those are SURE signs that he is being molested. This is not a joke and you need to get him medical attention soon. Do not take that a a joke. I worked in special education for years and had a student who's bowels were so damaged from the abuse that he wore diapers at 12 years old and had to have colorectal surgery. Don't mess around with that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • The way you are describing his bowel movements sounds like he's being impacted from the molestation. You really need to take your child to the ER and have him examined. Don't mess around. It makes me sick that people allow this to happen because they are in denial and don't want to find out the truth and the kids continues to be molested! Just wrong!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • He was already seen by a ped. and she examined him. He has something can't remember the medical term. It caused him to have hard stools and make it painful. He learned to not go to the bathroom to avoid the pain.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • First...I would try Miralax on him to help with his bowel problems. I think that would benefit him TONS...But ask he Dr. first.

    Second...I do think that what he said is a bizarre answer...But I think it could just be showing off as well. I would consult a therapist just to be sure and give yourself some piece of mind.
    Children this age often say things that they don't really mean. Hopefully this was one of those times!

    Good luck! I hope you do make an appointment with a phycologist...Just to be on the safe side. You want to make sure your other son isn't in any real danger.
    MommyTatum

    Answer by MommyTatum at 10:52 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Please listen to your instincts and do seek a behaviorial therapist or additional medical attention. One mention of something that serious should not be taken lightly. I certainly would not brush it off it were my own child, and it is a cry for help, whether you want to hear it or not. If he's having medical issues - that may be separate from what others may be saying... or a second opinion may be in order. Sometimes it takes a few different doctors to get the help your child needs - this I know well from experience. But waiting isn't the answer.
    bupkie

    Answer by bupkie at 7:51 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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