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Abusive husband filed for full custody, please help?!

My abusive husband that I have been trying to serve with restraining order papers (that would have possibly given me temporary emergency custody for a year) had dodged all the deputies efforts to serve him, and somehow magically found my new address and had me (or rather my mother received the papers, I did not personally get them) served with divorce and custody papers. He wants full custody and only wants me to have supervised visitation because I "absconded" with my two boys across state lines.(He told me as I was leaving fl, while i was even still in the same zipcode that I could leave to get my head straight) I left fl and came back to my home state of nc. The only reason why I did this was because of the abuse, both on me and my children, and he kept me completely isolated down there. I had no one to turn to, and because he never let me learn to drive and get my drivers license, I couldn't go to any legal offices to request something iv heard is called a petition for relocation. I'm not sure if I should go ahead and file the custody packet I got yesterday. I have a court date in fl, which im not sure how to make since I dont have any income at present, I am searching for a job now, and also I do not have money for attorney as he does! I was advised by my CPS case worker and a police officer that after he had gotten threatening while i was up here to stop talking to him, and he is now trying to use that against me. What do I do ladies?! I am so distraught I can barely think straight...

+I do have pictures of marks he left on the children, even though his lawyer and him are saying they are false alliegations, but I dont think he knows how many pictures I have of his handprints. and I am a clean drug free responsible individual, just for the record.

Answer Question

Asked by MommaCoolCat at 8:58 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • The restraining order is still on file even though he hasn't been served yet, the judge will be able to see it.

    Also I believe that because they did not serve you personally then you were really never served legally speaking. You should call and get a free first meeting with a lawyer and discuss this.

    Do you have any police reports and CPS reports? You can use those as proof.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • My sons father tried to say that I "absconded" when he had a letter sent to me (while we lived together) informing me that our relationship was over and I had to leave. He also tried to get custody. The judge didn't want to hear it and yelled at his lawyer for being ridiculous and told them to work it out with me and my lawyer because he wasn't getting what he wanted.
    As long as you don't have any serious problems, the judge will not take your children.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 9:10 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • No unfortunately as I was always to afraid to file anything against him. Since I was isolated down there, I did not have anyone to turn to whenever he would get out from jail or whatever would happen. I was afraid of him getting revenge.

    Comment by MommaCoolCat (original poster) at 9:11 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • i dont think anyone in their right mind would let kids/children stay with a abusive parent, i should i was a product of it my father us to beat me & my mother they divorced..He wasnt aloud to see us if we didnt want to & he also had a retraining order on him..But that was 12yr ago now i am 23 with 2kids,i do let him see his grandkids & we have a good relationship now but i still dont trust him

    Answer by Chelhaidax at 1:12 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I don't know about FL, but TX is a VERY MOTHER STATE< you would literally have to have a needle hanging out of your arm in the court room swearing you were sober to get your custody taken away. Make sure what ever lawyer you get assigned to you sees the pictures, and have character witness's if you can. Document as much as the abuse you can. Be specific if you are able. Stay strong, Keep your chin up. When he shows up at court the deputies might be able to serve him. See if you cant find a law student to help you out, they take ALOT of pro-bono cases, it looks good on their resume. (Assuming your lawyer would welcome the assistance). This may sound rude, but dont be patheic in front of the judge, but BE HONEST! Let the judge hear the truth in your words. You were with in your rights to leave an abusive relationship. And they cant serve your parents unless you are an minor :-)


    Answer by baquick at 10:24 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

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