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How does a friend parent a friend?

Without sounding bossy or bitchy?
I am letting my 16 year old best friend stay with me because her mother hit her and kicked her out on the streets.
She promised she would work on what she needed to do to make this a transition only period. I have a baby due in jan and she is not doing anything but going to friends and making excuses as to why she can't make it home to do the things we needed to get done.
My boyfriend will kick her out if she doesn't keep up and my biggest fear is kicking my own best friend out on the streets.
She will never forgive me..But I know shes doing this to herself.
I'm so frustrated and confused.

Answer Question

Asked by BayB at 4:08 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • If you live in California her parents could face criminal charges of abandonment as she is under 18 and they kicked her out. They cannot legally put a minor out on the streets with no provision. I would report the parents to CPS or Social Services. The girl will either have to go back home to her parents, or she will be put in a foster situation, maybe with another relative. You are not responsible for someone else's child. You are legally considered a child until you turn 18.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • HOney, you cannot "mother" your best friend. It just isnt going to work. Sounds like she is just not ready to be on her own. The other poster is correct about CPS being called. In most states its illegal what the mother did. Sounds like your friend needs more time to grow.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 4:17 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Yes it is illeagal. Which is why her mother reports them as runaways and lies so they will just get picked up when theyre caught and go straight to jail. Its a messed up situation.
    If i call cps, she will get arrested.

    Answer by BayB at 4:20 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • No she won't. She is not your responsibility. If she was hit by her mother that is abuse. They will investigate and believe me, they side way more with the kids than you think.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Kick her out. She doesnt want to help herself. It is not your responsibility to take care of her. YOu have a child coming and that is your main concern.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I am not going to just straight up kick her out. We have been best friends since we were 3 and it's snowing outside. I am not that heartless.
    They will not investigate because this has happened time and time again, and even though her mom has taken a knife to her dad, and been in a psykward, they always take her side.
    Its bull shit and I just wanted some advice on someone to call. A helpline maybe.
    Or just some parenting advice.

    Answer by BayB at 5:11 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • But, you dont need parenting advice. Your not her parent your her friend. You cannot be both. Sit her down and be straight with her. Tell her that she has to do what needs to be done. Give her a time limit. Tell her she has until the baby comes. Its really hard when your dealing with a bf.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • IM understand you care about her and being great frirend but well if she not help you, than let her get mad and she need understand that you not rise her as child. she need learn how take care her self. Im sorry hear that her mom hit her. Her mom is wrong. she would call for help. Pls stay with your boyfriend becyou may need him help badly. dont worry about your friend. she on her own. let her learn and let her be upset. she not be mad at u bec you did not kick her out. she not smart. she not allow to be mad at you. u need be happy for your baby.

    Answer by whoishotmama at 7:34 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Dont put your own relationship in danger for your freind.Now you see why her own mother kicked her out.If she is doing this to you.IT was much worse she did to her own mother.I asure you this is true.Its time to grow up an shape up or get out an learn the hard way.She must think she can.Or she would be afraid of being on the street.She isnt afraid or she would be working to keep her a nice place to stay.Like it or not you will have to say this is what you have to do or you have to leave.Be strong.She may get mad at you right now if so she isnt grown up enough to understand an care about your relationship she has put you in a bad spot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Do not allow her to be around when you have a baby... friends change and if she ant get her shit together...well youve got your baby to worry about. not her

    Answer by Sandiii at 7:20 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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