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How can I get my 1 year old to stop whinning

I cant point out when or why my almost one year old is constantly whinning. And for some reason its only me. he doesnt listen to me when i tell him to stop and when i do he starts throwing a tantrum that puts a 2 year old to shame. he doesnt do this to anyone else. If his father or grandma tells him to stop he does. If i walk in the room he'll start whinning. I dont pick him up when he does because i know it will be worse. It has almost ruined the relationship of my mother and I. I dont know what to do. Please help!

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mama33649

Asked by mama33649 at 10:48 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • He does it because he knows he can get a reaction out of you.

    Ignore him. No matter how bad he gets, continue to ignore him. Then when he calms down, give him attention.
    If you don't start working on this now, it only gets worse. Believe me.... I know...
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 10:51 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • If you find the answer please let me know. It might be that once you walk in the room he only wants you. That is what my 9 month old does, she will be happy with daddy until I come home and then she freaks out until I take her from him.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 10:56 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • when my 16 month old daughter starts to have a melt down (like if I take away something she shouldn't have, she wants something and doesn't get her way, etc) I either ignore her or put her in her crib to relax. I don't use a negative tone, I simply say "whining doesn't work, you need to take a break and calm down" I put her in her crib with her fav toys and a sippy of water and walk out of the room for 1-3 minutes. I did the same with my son. It is a constant process but it really seems to work. My son (who is almost 4) still has to go to his room to "relax and calm down" when he starts having tantrums, but the time alone really helps him. We don't do time outs in the typical sit in a chair until a timer dings way, we do breaks in the bedroom until you calm down and are ready to come back out.

    Hope this helps. Also, my dd loves her crib. despite going there as a form of "break" she doesn't seem to attach any (cont)
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I do! i step out of the room , turn my back,.... when i come home from work he starts. its as soon as he sees me. And I treat him no defferent than anyone does. he gets the same attention. and everyone blames me, as if i spoil him or have sown him to my hip. Its gotten out of control. i dont know what else to do.
    mama33649

    Comment by mama33649 (original poster) at 10:58 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • negative connotations because I don't yell or get upset while putting her into it. It is just a safe place where she can express herself until she is ready to act calmly outside of it. I hope this helps:) good luck!!
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 10:58 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • thanks bloomsr ill try that, i really hope something works. did your child ever think of her crib as a punishment place? i dont want him to be throwing a fit and me put him in his crib and him not want to sleep there anymore. (if that makes since)
    mama33649

    Comment by mama33649 (original poster) at 11:03 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I was worried about my kids seeing their cribs as a punishment place but my kids never seemed to have had a problem with it. I don't yell "YOU HAVE TO STAY IN YOUR CRIB!!!" I say "you need to take a break for a few minutes" I speak in my normal "mommy" tone and make sure they are comfortable and have favorite toys. Once my son was a little older (around 18 or 19 months when he was always climbing out of his crib) I would just put him in his room by himself to play with a baby gate in the door.

    If my daughter starts to cry in her crib I go in her room, take her out and direct her to a toy or book to play with by herself in her room for a few minutes (by the time she is done playing she comes out and seems a lot more calm).

    I think treating the crib or room as a place to calm down and relax rather than a place where the kids are sent when they are in "trouble" helps them to avoid negative associations with it.
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:14 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • i agree and understand that. :) although my son when he starts crying i try to give him a toy to distract him on what hes really crying about. after hes done i go to him to pick him up, he'll start again as soon as he sees me. so i walk bout out. It really makes me sad and lost.
    mama33649

    Comment by mama33649 (original poster) at 11:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • It could be him just trying to work out emotions he can't exsplain to you yet. DS went through this at 15 months. I just told him that nobody likes the noises he makes when he is whinning and even shouwed him how it sounded. I told him he had to use his words or show me what he wanted. Eventually he got it. Now he is 2 and at a clingy stage where he wants me all the time.
    MrsLLove

    Answer by MrsLLove at 9:07 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

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