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2 Bumps

If your marriage has gone to the edge and you almost divorced but as a couple

You worked things out , and now things are better?
WHAT CHANGED? HOW DID YOU CHANGE?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Jul. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Yep. They're not perfect, but I would say 99% better than they were.
    I went through a horrible depression. I asked for a divorce and decided to stay. My husband was manipulative, unappreciative, arrogant, selfish and emotionally abusive. I was also basically a single married woman. DH did nothing to help me or our children besides provide a paycheck. I finally asked for a divorce and he turned around immediately, but I was too emotionally void at that point to give a crap, and I slipped into a deep depression. He did everything because he saw me at my lowest and knew he needed to change.
    We both recommited to communicate to each other, we needed to be 100% honest with our emotions, feelings and desires. He started taking responsibility for his choices and actions and I aknowledged that I needed to open myself back up for things to work out.
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 11:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • we talked out what was going on and realized the stress of hubby not working and our daughter's autism diangnosis freaked us both out to. we try to talk everyday
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 11:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • We both learned to compromise. It took time but we eventually got there. Don't laugh, well maybe it is funny.....but I found it helped to treat him like a child or a pet - like how you would train them by praise and teaching them boundaries.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:51 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • I had to learn to open my heart back up, and be ok again with him leaving to have time to himself (before he took advantage of leaving his family behind) so the trust was shot.
    It's been a crazy transition, but I read somewhere that people rarely tough out the challenges of marriage and those who give up before the struggle is over, never get to see the benefits from that difficult time. It's so true. Unless you work through the problems you can't reap the benefits of them......you have to have those tough times to grow stronger together. Stick by one another. That doesn't mean be walked over, but rather, allow for change in the both of you, so you can get to the other side!
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 11:54 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Our big debate was over money. The band aid was me handling all the money that comes into the house. Long term he has been in counseling for his wayward spending so things are better now.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 11:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2011

  • Honey do you go to church at all cause when I turned to God it changed our lives I was falling apart I went to church by my self at first but then when he saw how I was happy to go to church he started going with me and it really fixed him when he was savedwe did a lot better then we wnt to the churches marriage counseling and now were great I'm so happy and more in love with him then ever and many people had the same problem did the same thing and there doing great as well just remember you can never do anything without god help!
    mommy2bee12-27

    Answer by mommy2bee12-27 at 1:59 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I have to say @ mommy2bee12-27....you are SO RIGHT! If you're a believer....wonderful things can & do happen when you just lean on God and put it in his hands. I believe this is why our marriage is so happy and wonderful after being together 11 years. We never tire of each other and can't wait to open our eyes in the mornings and know that the other one is there to have for another day. It's real. It's possible. IMO. It ties your hearts together in a way I cannot fully explain.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

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