Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

How do you avoid your evil adult step children?

I have a 32 yr old evil step daughter and a 28 yr old evil stepson. When they were little I tried EVERYTHING to win their hearts. After enduring years of their abuse I am officially done and have no desire to ever try again. However every time my husband and I visit my family in another state, we pass through his son's town. Of course he wants to stop and visit. I usually fake illness so I don't have to subject myself to the monster. Likewise, when my husband's daughter comes to town, I am always faking illness to get out of her obligatory dinners. How do you all avoid the step-monsters in your life?

Answer Question

Asked by KareninTampa at 12:50 AM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 6 (123 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Start by discussing this with husband? I understand you don't want to see them, and you have every right not to. You just shouldn't have to lie to get out of it. I feel sad for you that you have to do that.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 12:58 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Wow that is harsh!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • It is harsh. His son has attacked me and threatened me in the past. He has mental issues and I do not feel safe around him. My step daughter trash talks me every time I turn my back. No amount of kindness or love has ever worked with these two. My husband lives in la-la land and pretends there aren't any issues. So I'm fine with him spending all the time he wants with his children. I just want to stay as far away as I can.

    Comment by KareninTampa (original poster) at 1:22 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Perhaps YOU are the evil step mother and they RIGHTFULLY dislike you? You sound like a snob IMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • IMO, when people act abusive toward you, you owe them nothing. As teenagers I thought they would grow up and out of their abusive behavior. They are way to old now for me to be making up any more excuses for them. I am done. If that makes me a snob, then so be it. Unlike you, I do not think that it is EVER rightful to hit a woman.

    Comment by KareninTampa (original poster) at 2:34 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • So it's not you that's the problem, it's everyone else? I mean come on, you are talking since they were little children, where the little children evil them? Sounds to me like your the problem

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:58 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I think you need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. It will probably hurt his feelings, but he needs to know that you are not comfortable around his kids. I feel the same way about my husband's mom, so I understand. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:26 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • @scout mom
    How do you handle holidays, birthdays etc where the abusive mother-in-law is concerned? Do you make up excuses to not be where she will be or is it just understood that if she is invited you will not attend?

    Comment by KareninTampa (original poster) at 12:04 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • @anonymous - Your comment is completely off topic. I feel sorry for any female who has the misfortune to come into contact with any of your sons.

    Comment by KareninTampa (original poster) at 5:54 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I have to say that I have an understanding husband. I have a 17 yr old stepson who has threatened me and made false allegations of abuse. I have nothing to do with him and my husband understands why and respects that. What would happen if you just tell your husband your real feelings? That having any kind of relationship with them is too stressful for you. He of course should have his own relationship but that shouldn't have to include you. Hugs.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.