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How old where you when you found out?

I was 12 y/o when i found out i was adopted, my mom now sat me down one night at the time she was a alcoholic but she asked me if i ever felt like i didnt belong in the family at first i didnt understand what she meant & then she said that i am adopted.At first i was confused,but then she told me when i was 6mths old my biomom gave me to my dad in exchange for money & his truck then a few mths later she meet my dad they got married & then she adopted me..Sometimes i always wondered why my bio-mom left,i figured it was bc my dad was abusive he use to beat me & my mom when i got older..At 13y/o they divorced & both remarried..Just recently i saw a pic of my biomom & to my surprise it was a mugshot off of this fb site i have she got busted for drugs go figure..I still would like to meet her but i am scared to open that can of worms,i got my DH & 2kids to worry about! When did you found out that you was adopted?

 
Chelhaidax

Asked by Chelhaidax at 1:35 AM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Adoption

Level 18 (6,053 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My twins were adopted and we've always been honest with them that they were adopted. I felt, from hearing stories like yours, that I would have been living a lie to not tell them. My twins were adopted as embryos and I gave birth to them so it would have been easy to let them believe they were conceived the same way as their sister. I'm sorry that your mom wasn't honest with you from the start.

    JSD24

    Answer by JSD24 at 8:11 PM on Jul. 17, 2011

  • I was kind of aware of what was going on when the adoption happened. I remember the social worker talking with me at my new home and asking me if I wanted to stay there etc. So there was no announcement that I was adopted although it was explained in more detail later as I got older and could understand better.

    Chelhadix - you really should have been told much sooner. And I am sorry you had such a rough time in your early life. I agree you should be cautious about making contact with your bmom given the situation.

    sophistcarfury - I agree that bringing up adoption all the time like that is not a good idea. It is one thing not to hide it but it should not be brought up all the time either-that would have made me feel different too.
    confused969

    Answer by confused969 at 9:55 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • they told me every day for my whole life and i wish they hadn't. always made me feel different, even though that wasn't their intention.
    sophistcatdfury

    Answer by sophistcatdfury at 1:38 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Wow, what a way to be told you are adopted. Sorry sweetie. I always knew. I was adopted by my Aunt and the rest of my drug addict family would never have been able to keep their mouths shut. lol My adoption was not legal until I was 7 so that would have been hard to hide as well.

    I wish you all the best. Good luck with your decision. If you do decide to meet her, might I suggest a little counseling first to prepare you for what may or may not happen. Reunions can be a beautiful thing... when addicts are involved, well, you were right about the can of worms. I will be thinking of you.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 10:30 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • thank you ladies,yes it was rough but now i have 2 beautiful kids & i will be the best mom as i can
    Chelhaidax

    Comment by Chelhaidax (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • after my mom told me about it,i did start to feel diff like i wasnt part of the family & she treated me & my sister diff bc i wasnt her biochild i guess
    Chelhaidax

    Comment by Chelhaidax (original poster) at 5:43 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Thats great your honest with them, i wish i found out at a earlier age but oh well something su just have to learn to deal with in life :)
    Chelhaidax

    Comment by Chelhaidax (original poster) at 1:09 AM on Jul. 18, 2011

  • My parents talked to us about adoption from the time that we were babies so I grew up knowing and thinking it was wonderful. I am sorry that your mother make such poor decisions about revealing your adoption and that so much drama surrounds the scenario.
    Suzy_Sunshine

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 11:04 PM on Aug. 1, 2011

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