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My nephew told my son there is no Santa...I'm pissed!

My nephew is 14 and has a shitty life. My sister and his dad are divorced, he has an autistic sister that takes up all of his mom's time, he lives with my sister and she bashes his dad every breath she takes (he's a jerk, really, but to keep saying it in front of his kids?), and he is flunking out of school. He has always had a bad attitude, and no one likes him. He is a bully, and picks on all the other kids.
My husband and I have been happily married for 10 years, have a beautiful home, and our 6 year old son is the light of our life. He has the most wonderful imagination. When he was 1 he would play pretend with his stuffed animals and make them "talk" to each other and feed them.
We were at a family cookout this weekend, and having a great time. We were telling my brother that we were thinking about getting a new car, since mine is 14 years old and my husbands is 18 years old and both are making weird noises. For some reason, this set off my nephew. He started yelling about how we were always talking about our perfect life and we needed to shut up. I do understand that he has been raised to feel like anyone with a better life than his is throwing it in his face. We are not, we just happen to have a pretty wonderful life. We don't own our home, but we are paying the mortgage. We won't be buying a "new" new car, but a used car. Our son goes to public school, just like our nephew did. We have an average income, and can't afford to go on vacation to anywhere but camping or something like that. But we manage our finances well and have it pretty good.
His retaliation for us having a "perfect life" was to announce then that Santa wasn't real. Then he threw his can of soda at the punch bowl on the table, breaking it, and stalked away.
What would you have done? His mom let him stay and didn't take him home, so we left. In the car, our baby asked us if his cousin was telling the truth. When we told him, he cried the whole way home. I am so pissed I want to go slap the little bastard......

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Jul. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • What a shame! my kids often got told about Santa being a lie, and they came to me and asked, I would always tell them "do you believe in Santa"? and they would answer YES! then I would say then he is very real!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:19 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Honestly, with the life he has had, can you really expect better? I think there will be bigger problems later on if he has already hurt animals and behaves that impulsively. He needs someone to get him help before he is in prison.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:54 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Maybe if someone would exert some positive influence over your nephew, he would have a better life and attitude. Knowing all that he's dealing with, why aren't you trying to be a support for him? That's probably why he's so angry. It's got to be very difficult to see your family living a happy, stress free life, and to know that you're suffering but not being offered any help. You need to have a long talk with your nephew, and build a positive relationship with him, not write him off because he's very troubled. I'm sorry for your son's pain, your nephew's actions were wrong and his anger misplaced, but IMO yours are as well. He is still a kid himself, try to remember that.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 9:01 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I would say "too bad Jonny doesn't believe in Santa because he won't be getting anything for Christmas." Then I would google online "letters from Santa from the North Pole" and get one for my kid. They are actually stamped as if they are from the North Pole and say you kid's name, his town and some of his friends. When I did that for my kid she ran into her classroom screaming "I have proof!"
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:23 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Your son is 6? He would have found out from kids at school this year, anyway. I think you should be pissed at your sister and her ex for letting your nephew get to this state. He can't help that his parents have screwed up horribly.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:25 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I feel badly for your nephew your sister has emotionally abused him for so long and you guys have sat back and watched. I am sure he is angry no one has done a thing to help him get out of that situation. My son has never believed in Santa he has survived good time for your 6 year old to deal with disappointment. He will live and get past it. Your nephew needs help instead his family hates him. Poor kid no wonder he is so angry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • He'll learn soon enough & it will probably be from an older child or someone at school. I understand why you're upset, but it will be OK in the long run. Christmas can still be lots of fun without Santa.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:18 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • As for your nephew, i would not allow him in my home for a while after his behavior. I would at least expect a sincere apology before he is allowed to come back into my house.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:20 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • He asked specifically if his cousin was telling the truth, and we didn't want to lie to him, because he kind of knew it was the truth anyway. My nephew believed in Santa until he was 10, and we wanted our little one to have the fun of believing a little longer. He is only 6, for crying out loud. We talked about it today and told him that Santa was really the spirit of Christmas more than a person, and he seemed to enjoy the idea. We know we can still have a fun Cristmas without Santa, but it was OUR choice when to tell him about it and our nephew wrecked a little boy's fantasy because he was throwing a tantrum.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:23 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • The party was at my brother's house. We have had a rule about this kid not being allowed at our house for 5 years, since he broke our cat's tail on purpose and never apologised.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:24 AM on Jul. 13, 2011