yesterday my husband and i were having a conversation about when we met in highschool, dated for a little bit, then re-connected years later. when we re-connected we were just friends with benefits. he didn't want a relationship because he was about to deploy for 15 months. i understood that but my heart was always in it. i used his horny-ness to get close to him and he used my feelings to get in my pants. but he always sent me confusing signals, like one night at a country bar he was talking to some girl and had his friend come up to me and tell me "he said not to worry about her she's just an old friend". then when he deployed, he got sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him so they sent him back to the states. well he got better and decided to go back. he asked me to come up to georgia (where he was stationed) to see him off. we slept together and weeks later i found out i was pregnant with his child.
i always figured that he had more than just sexual attraction for me because of the things i mentioned above and a few other mixed signals i got from him. but he asked yesterday if i remember the night we were dancing at the country bar and i poured my soul out to him. in my defense i had had too much to drink but i do remember telling him how much i wanted to be together. i smiled and said, "yea i remember. so what was going through your mind when i was saying all that?" i thought he was enjoying it. but he laughed and said "i thought i was going to get raped".
then he admitted he felt a little trapped by the pregnancy. although i did give him an out. i said i don't want to be together just because we have a baby on the way. but he swore he wanted to be with me and months after i had her we got married. so it hurts a little now that i'm finding out he wasn't in love with me the way i was with him. he says now he loves our family though, and i guess it's good that he was honest, right? i just sometimes feel like he doesn't really want to be here.
Asked by Anonymous at 8:30 AM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Relationships
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