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Commitment or promise ceremony for divorcing partner

OK! I am in the process of a messy divorce of over 2 years, with no desire to reconcile. My partner would love to marry me (we have one child together) but since my STBX and I are not close to finalizing anytime soon.

My partner had the idea of a promise or commitment ceremony not a legal thing but just pledging ourselves to one another, hope to do it with our Pastor. Not sure if it's a silly idea.

I know it's not legal! We would have a few friends and family.

Thoughts? Or is there such a thing?

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Asked by blessmeplease at 9:34 AM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 8 (222 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Personally I would just wait.

    Answer by missanc at 9:36 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I dont think its worth it. You all are already together and I gather your friends and family already know!? No need for a ceromony.

    Answer by Allie120 at 9:39 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I would be surprised if a pastor agreed to that. I would just wait as well.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 9:40 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I would wait

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 9:55 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • after my messy divorce as well...i wouldn't wanna marry again. it's cheaper to stay single..heheh but yeah i would wait.

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 10:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I am curious.. why does your partner want to do it now and not wait?

    Answer by MommaB30 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • He wants to marry a woman who cheated on her husband?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • It's hard to put this in a w ay that doesn't sound offensive. But i'll try. Until you are ready to marry, you really aren't that committed. It sounds to me like you really should have taken some time to heal and re-evaluate before making a new situation for yourself that includes a new life. Starting something new before closing out the old is rarely a good idea. I can't imagine that a pastor would agree to a semi-commitment ceremony

    Answer by adnilm at 2:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Presumably you are commited already, you are a couple, you have a child together... why not wait until the divorce is final and then get married if that is what you want? I'm gathering that you would still want to marry him legally even after this commitment ceremony, so why do something that is only halfway? I think, in your position, I would be more apt to simply get engaged and plan a wedding down the road when the divorce is final.

    Answer by Freela at 9:28 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I'm in agreement with the others. Waiting is probably best. I highly doubt your pastor would go for it; I know mine sure wouldn't. Good luck.

    Answer by popzaroo at 10:46 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

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