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Would you be mad? Or am I over-reacting? My boyfriends bestfriends x-girlfriend is calling.

My b/f  told me that he had talked to his friend's X- girlfriend a while back, after his friend broke up with her, she called him non-stop and wanted to be with him, I guess he was actually thinking about ''getting with her'' until his brother yelled at him and told him how wrong it would be. Apparently she called him recently after a year and a half of not talking to him and wanted to start talking again and he told her that he had met someone and he was planning on getting married, and I guess she got sh*tty and was like, 'are you sure you want to do that?' I asked him if he was going to talk to her again, and he said only if she calls him, but I think he should tell her that she doesn't need to be calling him b/c it could interfere w/ our relationship. Especially since he DID like her, right now I feel like I am second best, and I don't want to feel like my b/f rather be w/her than me. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • put your foot down if he talk to her again rethink everything


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • if he won't tell her i would call her and do it myself and tell him its either me or her

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 7:08 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Why is he talking with some other chick? And does it really matter that he doesn't call her, that she calls him instead? There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex when you're married or in a relationship - if you have had those friends since forever. It is something else completely when we go looking to make more friends after we already have a relationship. And in my honest opinion, your man has no business talking to this girl. In the beginning, maybe he wanted to help, but once she started taking it to the next level, he should have told her to take a hike. As in, telling her, don't call me anymore. Especially since she said she wanted to be with him. Hello, he has a girl already! I hate women that go after men who are taken. I would talk with him and ask him what he really wants - get it all out in the open. I wish you the best of luck keep me informed about how this goes for you, okay?

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 7:33 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I don't know...I think the whole bit sounds a little childish. First, it doesn't sound like you trust him much if you're concerned about it and if that is true, I seriously would re-consider why you're in a relationship with him to begin with. My SO's friends are about half male, half female, but I've never once worried about whether or not he would leave me or cheat. I wouldn't want to be with someone I had to monitor that closely. Second, if the shoe was on the other foot and he was telling you you couldn't talk to someone, would you want that?

    Answer by kabbot01 at 7:57 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • We had some issues like that with my now dh's ex. She for a while was calling him, showing up at our house, and telling other people she wanted him back and 'would get him back'. Whatever. I was never too concerned, but it was soo irritating and I told him he needed to just completely stop talking to her. I felt like it was only encouraging her if he kept being nice to her. He finally told her not to call him anymore, and luckily she moved away to a different state. But I would tell your bf that you are not comfortable with this and that he needs to deal with it now. Before it causes more problems in your relationship. And if he won't tell her, I would!

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 7:59 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • In this case I don't think it has anything to do with being childish. If they were friends and she was respectful of your relationship then I would say that he has the right to choose her to be his friend but it's more about respect and she disrespected you and your relationship by asking the question about how sure he is. If you are together you are a unit and if she disrespected you then she disrespected a part of him. As for trusting him, you can trust that he isn't going to do anything but she is still going to try if given the opportunity and once again it's about respect.

    Answer by micrespo at 8:45 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • it seems to me that he is showing you who he really is. which i think is a good thing. so you can decide to marry a man like this and have marriage problems cause he has no respect for you or leave now, which seems most logical? she may not call again so don't freak out yet but the fact that he says he is going to tells me either you haven't told him how you feel and he doesn't know that would be disrespectful or that he wants to keep her on the back burner in case you guys don't work out. just tell him you don't like her and not to but if he insist he wants to then i would let him go.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:25 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • absolutely do not allow this. There should always be a rule that friends that are not a friend of the marriage need to go buh bye! Please do yourself and your marriage a big favor and get the book NOT just friends by shirley glass. this is a must read, especially with todays society and the lack of morals that people have where marriage is concerned. My DH had an emotional affair because the same thing happened to him and before he knew it he was betraying me and himself. It is so easy to do and takes so much time to overcome. Please be armed with knowlege.. I wish someone would have said this to me 10 years ago. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

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