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How can I prevent my 5 year old to stop crying every morning before school?

I have this big problem with my 5 year old son, every morning at home and before he gets into his classroom he cries. I ask him why he doesn't want to go to school, he just says "because mom, I don't want to go to that school, I don't want to" and he cries for about 1 hour each morning. He's perfectly fine after school, he's happy and he shows me his stickers he got. His teacher told me that 5 minutes after I leave he's perfectly fine. I'm surprised because back in his old school he never cried, I never had to deal with this in the mornings. He was happy to go to school, he even wanted to go during the weekends. I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. Any ideas on how to stop this from happening?

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Asked by ara234 at 12:59 PM on Jul. 13, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • He will eventually adapt, he is trying to see how he can get away with not going, just ignore the cries unless you see something wrong, a lot of kids do this and then adapt, give it some time.

    Answer by older at 1:01 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • is he being bullied or teased by the other kids? this happened to my son and finally I got it out of him what was happening(after telling him he wasn't going to get in trouble with me just needed to let me know so we could help him) and then we talked to the teacher and principal and then everything was fine. It does take some kids longer to adapt then others

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 1:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Excite him before, tell him what he has to look forward to and how much fun he's going to have while there. Maybe ask him too if other kids are picking on him, & maybe that's why he dreads it.

    Answer by anestheticsex at 1:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • @christmaslver68, That is what i don't know, I will have to ask him if something is happening in school, thanks.
    @anestheticsex, I tried that already it didn't work, so i'm going to ask him if there are any problems, thanks also

    Comment by ara234 (original poster) at 1:10 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I agree with Older... It just takes time. Just make sure you don't give in and take him home when he cries. This is normal for students who enter a new classroom at his age. You could try to reward him on the days he doesn't cry. Maybe chart the days he doesn't cry then reward him with a "big boy" prize after he meets a goal. His teacher is probably right. I've seen kids scream and cry when they first enter a classroom, then minutes after mom and dad leave they're having a good time with friends. Also... Maybe postpone any visits to his class or to have lunch with him until her adapts. Coming and going will probably cause more separation anxiety after the initial morning anxiety has passed.

    Answer by Ash09855 at 1:10 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • You can try a positive incentive. It has worked for me with my 8 and 17 year old....
    I have an honor roll on the wall, then I set a goal with my kid, let's say not cry on the way to school and a period of time (it would depend on age, goal, etc) You only reward positive actions, never the other way around.
    So let's say he didn't cry, then he gets a star or any other sticker on the honor roll, if he cries, then he just doesn't get anything, without arguing with him. At the end of the period i give them a little something, nothing too big. But what I do is make it a big thing anytime the child earns a star.
    Believe me it works every time, with all scenarios
    good luck!

    Answer by alrd at 1:13 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • First, I would ask some additional questions. Is he finding friends? How is he fitting into the classroom? MOST of the time, the crying is because children pick up on their parents anxiety, plus separation anxiety. Second,you might also try meeting with the teacher after school, with your son along, and have him show you around the room, with no other children present. (some children take more time to adjust to new settings.) Ask him to show you his favorite area of the room, where is his cubby where his things are kept during the day, etc. That might give you some insight into what is happening. Third, you might call some of the other parents and ask if their children are reacting this way; maybe he is not the only child to whom this is happening. If all else fails, you might ask that he be moved to a different classroom, under a different teacher. Most schools will move a child ONCE, at parent request.

    Answer by dreamalong at 1:32 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • i would ignore him.

    Answer by gwen20 at 2:00 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

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