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3 Bumps

Please, please help me, i think something is seriously wrong with me and i need advice.

This is really hard, but im gonna try to keep it short and cut to the chase.

I have one daughter who is almost 9 months old. She has always been a very fussy baby. She was colic when she was a baby and now she has seperation anxiety so almost everytime i leave the room she is crying. I also watch my nephews during the week, one is almost 2 years old and the other is 9 months, day older then my daughter. Both of my nephews are very difficult to have here. The one that is almost 2 bangs his head against walls when he is mad, throws himself on the ground and screams over everything. My other nephew (9 months) cries ALL the time. Even when he ACTUALLY plays, he ends up crying because he gets pissed at the toy. I feel awful, but i get so frustrated that i want to just scream, literally. The 2 year old kicks my daughter, pinches her, has sat on her head when she was about 6 months, hits w/ his hands and other objects. I am tired of my daughter getting hit by him. And it doesnt help that the parents basically allow him to act this way. They do disipline him but they are not consistant. And consistancy is so important when you are teaching a 2 year old. My 9 month old nephew, i swear if he doesnt have a bottle in his mouth he is crying! I have tried to tell the parents that he just cries all day but they got pissed because they are completely convinced that he is the easiest baby. I know he is not the hardest, but he is VERY needy. And im so frustrated because i will grint my teeth to keep from blowing up!!! I get so pissed off and i feel bad but i cant help it and i feel like something is wrong with me. So basically what i am asking is, am i a horrible person to get this angry with kids? Is it the age difference? the 2 year olds ridiculous fits and beatin on the little ones? or is it me?
Now, they are expecting another child and are talking about me watching all 3 of their kids now and when i told them that my husband and i were trying for another baby all they could say was how hard it was going to be to watch all the kids by myself with the different ages. Instead of a "Im happy for you" its them tellin me its a bad idea basically. And i dont want to plan my life around THEIR kids. Im startin to think i cant do this anymore. But i know they will be very pissed when i tell them cuz they save a LOT of money keepin them out of a daycare but it shouldnt be MY responsibility that they cant afford about to be 3 of their kids.

What do you think? Am i wrong? Just tell me your thoughts. Maybe it will help me, thank you!.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Jul. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (28)
  • I would stop watching their kids. Sorry but the one is being violent to your baby. That would be it for me.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 1:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Its not your fault they cant support their 3 kids. I would put my foot down if i were you.
    prettynpink343

    Answer by prettynpink343 at 1:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • if you are going crazy, then you need to not watch her kids anymore. So she might be pissed but so what.. period, you and your family have to come first. I had a colic high needs baby and I compeltely understand why you are going nuts.. Hugs.. I wish I had more advice, you have the right to want to scream, but the kids don't deserve it - any of them - not yours or hers. Tell them you can't watch their kids anymore. We onyl have 1 because that is what we can afford.. maybe they have to make cuts other places to put them in daycare, its not your JOB to care for her kids.. you tried it, its not working.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • It sounds like your nephews are huge source of stress for you. I would let their parents know you just can't keep them anymore. It's not your job.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Hunny, you are are not wrong. Sounds to me like you are about to have a nervous breakdown if you keep this up. Tell them asap you can not longer keep their kids and do not feel guilty. Hugs to you.
    texasgurl33

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 1:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Your first responsibility is to your child and family. If watching their kids is hurting that relationship, then they need to find another option.

    Yes, you may be saving them tons of money but that is their problem and if they won't help you in consistant discipline, then it's not worth the hassle. Also, it's not your job to raise their kids while you give up on having more.

    I'd give them 4 weeks to find another arrangement.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:40 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Okay mama. This is what I think. YOU are totally normal. But, I think you need to stop sitting those kids. It is too much, mama! They are all so close in age, and all of the tantrums and activity are too much for anyone!

    Can you cut back on hours or days?

    That is just too much.

    And, two more babes?

    That is just not doable.

    You are frustrated because there is not enough of YOU to go around for 3 under the age of two.

    Hugs.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:41 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • You need to say something. To maintain your own sanity, you should tell them that you can no longer watch their kids every day. Maybe you could meet in the middle and watch them two times a week and they can do daycare part time. I know people would rather have family watch their children, but this sounds like it is really too hard on you. It would be for me, too! That is three kids under the age of two! It would be a lot for anyone to tackle...let alone they are expecting another child and didn't even ask, but tell you that you would watch the new one, too.

    Sorry mama. Hang in there, but you really do need to say and/or do something!
    Glowing4Caleb

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 1:41 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • No your not wrong. I would sit them down and explain to them that you've tried to discuss this with them, and it seems to upset them. But, since they dont want to help with issue syoure having with THEIR children, you cant watch them anymore. Give them time to find a good daycare....2 weeks tops. But explain you want to have another child, and YOUR family is your priority. So, since theirs is becoming an issue, you have to take a step back.
    Good luck!
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 1:42 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Wait... you are watching these kids for free??? Two babies and a 2 year old seems to be too much for you too handle, and there's really no shame in admitting that. There is NO reason for you to have your baby be beaten by the older kid, either. Their parents sound horribly ungrateful, too.

    I have two kids, 3 years old and 3 months old, and I couldn't imagine being alone with them and another infant all day, every day, to be honest. If it's too much for you, you need to speak up. Either cut back the hours you're watching the other kids, or stop watching them all together. YOUR child comes first. And if you want to have another one with your husband, that's YOUR business and should NOT be based on THEIR need for a babysitter.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 1:42 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

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