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3 Bumps

If you hate your inlaws?

1. How does this affect your marriage?
2. What are holidays like? Do you still seem them on xmas and turkey day?
3.How involved are they in your childs life?
4.Do you think it would benefit you to let go of that hate?
THANK YOU!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Letting go of hate is a wonderful first step.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 5:16 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I have let go of the hate and it helped in the sense that I'm a little better at letting the crap they pull just roll right off. All of the things that caused me not to like them in the first place still exist though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Letting go of your hate for anyone is a great way to improve your life. It will especially help with the first three items on your list.
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 6:59 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I am done with my inlaws. They do not care about my family. I have tried for 20 years and it never turns out good. It is mainly two people that are toxic and hurtful, but the others are so afraid to say anything to them. I told my husband he is welcome to spend time with them, but I refuse to spend anymore time with them. I do not think it would have gotten this bad if my husband had a backbone when it comes to his sisters and mom. I wish them all the very best, but I am not going to try and be "the bigger person" anymore.
    armywife199556

    Answer by armywife199556 at 10:17 AM on Jul. 14, 2011

  • it has put a strain on our marriage and we have had our fights about it; I would just not care if we didn't go see them at all. They don't care about me and treat me like crap every time we are around them and my husband isn;t man enough to stand up to them and tell them like it is. Christmas we spent at home and Thanksgiving we go eat stay for a little while and then leave. The ones that used to host the parties have past away so those probably won't even happen anymore which doesn't bother me at all.

    As far as being involved in my children's lives they aren't that involved they send cards at Christmas and for their birthdays but not much of anything more. I do not think it would have gotten this bad if my husband had a backbone when it comes to his sister and mom; I dont hate anyone just don't like the way they treat my boys and I so I stay my distance as much as possible; I'm tired of taking the backseat to them
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 9:35 AM on Jul. 18, 2011

  • I don't "hate" them but I do dislike them because they treat me like I'm invisible. I'm DH 2nd wife and even though they welcomed me into family in beginning, ACTIONS speak louder than words!!?? I keep it to myself, I love by husband and don't want to make him feel bad bcz he really doesn't have control of what his parents do, he isn't around them much. Just last night was feeling like I need to get things out in the open once & for all so I'm not carrying this around with me. I don't like having a heavy heart over anything and try to purge when I feel this way. Plus, I want this to STOP. Either they can tell me WHY they do not like me, if that's the case or they can treat me as they treat the other SIL's. I'm not a doormat. They call to stay here, they call hubby, they call to talk, they call hubby, never ask about me, and DH was invited to visit BIL/SIL in Mass. by himself. SIL said " Um, just YOU though" to my DH.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 10:03 AM on Jul. 18, 2011

  • 1. How does this affect your marriage? Now that hubby has seen them for what they really are, our marriage has been wonderful

    2. What are holidays like? Do you still seem them on xmas and turkey day? Holidays are great now, and No we don't see them

    3.How involved are they in your childs life? they have never been involved inmy childrens life and now they are cut off so we don't see or hear the drama anymore.

    4.Do you think it would benefit you to let go of that hate? Well I have let go of the hate, but I still feel it would be better to stay away from the people who want to break up my marriage and talk badly about my dh in front of his children, they have no respect for anyone but demand respect from everyone.. they are a real case!!
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:26 AM on Jul. 18, 2011

  • It negatively impacts our marriage. He thinks they do no wrong and I'm tired of being dumped on, but I usually turn a blind eye. It's when they target my kids that the fireworks happen. Holidays are a disaster every year because they think the entirety of the holidays belong to them and that my family should not be visited nor should my kids see them. They IL's are involved in our children's lives only as long as there is some benefit to the IL's. If they can show them off or to try show up DH and I. I'd love to let it go but they interfere to ridiculous levels and if things don't go as they want them to, they redouble their manipulation and scheming. I've just resorted to not letting them know how much they piss me off and that seems to ruin their whole day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jul. 18, 2011

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