Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Am I THAT unapproachable?!

So, here's my deal~ I'm a single mom who goes to school full time, works part time, & interns part time. I do live with my grandparents (not as bad as it seems...I help them as they're up there in age & they get to see their great-grand daughter every day!). So, my problem is, I don't really have any friends, no boyfriend (not really the issue right now), so I don't really get any "alone time" unless I'm at work or at the gym. People, guys and girls alike, have said I seem unapproachable and intimidating until they get to know me...how do I drop this image?!? I do not mean to do it, but in all honesty, I'm pretty smart & not afraid to voice my opinions on pretty much anything...could this be why I'm labeled like this?! I would like to have a friend, (or a couple of friends!!) to go hiking, go to the park with the kids, or go out and have a drink with one night...how do I make this happen?? Thanks for listening to my rambling & thanks in advance for your answers!! =)

Answer Question
 
mandi0986

Asked by mandi0986 at 6:44 PM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • well, your opinions should be voiced when they are asked for. do you listen to the opinions of others and then shoot them down? no one likes a know-it-all. Your question seemed a bit sharp as it was.....
    mubbie

    Answer by mubbie at 6:50 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I've been told the same thing. that i appear stuck up and snotty. But the only way to make friends is to put yourself out there and make the first move. go up to that girl at the gym and commet her, flirt with that single guy at work (even if its nothing big) say hello to everyone at work, open up to them. after i was told i appear snotty i asked why. and they told me its because i always keep to myself or i answer questions like i think im better then others. i really didnt understand since im not either of those things but thats what i did and it helped. instead of being called snotty i became "that shy girl" and evenrtually over alot of small talk i made a few friends.
    theladyluna

    Answer by theladyluna at 6:52 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Aw man I would be your friend and chill with you if I knew you. Just need to find friends that think and feel the same as you,or at least close to it.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 6:53 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I don't think you are unapproachable, I think you just haven't clicked with anyone, no need to change to make friends, just be yourself.......

    older

    Answer by older at 6:53 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Did it really seem sharp?! This is what I'm talking about...I don't act like a know-it-all, but if someone asks me something I will give my honest opinion...I do not offer them freely though. Ugh...maybe I should just never open my mouth again. =( lol...Oh, and I have a crazy sense of humor too...not everyone likes it...boo.
    mandi0986

    Comment by mandi0986 (original poster) at 6:54 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I do try to talk to everyone at work, but I work & intern in two different law firms & everyone is older than me & I would like to try and find some friends either around my age or at least someone who has a child around the same age as mine. I guess I'll just have to try harder!! =)
    mandi0986

    Comment by mandi0986 (original poster) at 6:56 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Oh please, don't listen to "mubbie". I'm a busy person, and I'm quite shy. People ALWAYS think I'm a snob. You just have to find the right friends. It takes time. You'll get there.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 6:59 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I don't think it is "you" or your personality. I think you probably just need to ask people to do something with you. If you are friendly with someone at work, see if they want to go do something after work some time. Make a plan. I do agree, it is hard to make new friendships in this busy world with everyone with kids, working, taking care of all the details of their lives. But there's got to be some women out there in the same boat. What about old friends from the past? Or an old job?

    At my work, there are a group of women who try to get something going every now and then. Someone suggested rollerblading in the nearby park. Some of the women are married, another is single. We've done a Hollywood Bowl thing (a few years ago!) and sometimes will have the girls out to dinner night. Sounds like you have a good situation with your grandparents (watch the kids?) Anyway, good luck!
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 7:06 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • I understand where you coming from I have the same problem. People have told me that I appear snobby but you know what I have found is that the "snobs" of the world probably have the same problem. for instance when my daughter played basketball she was friends with this one girl one the team and I wanted to get to know the mom but was shy and didn't know how to approach her, she didn't approach me either so I left it at that. 3 yrs later she is my sons teacher...I got to know her at that point and it turns out she is just as shy as I am and has a hard time with approaching people. We even have the same name so it was really great getting to know her and getting to know neither of us are snobs just shy.
    I don't know what to tell you other then keep your head up and keep trying. I still don't have any friends but I know alot of people and thats okay for now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • u doesn't sound unapproachable 2 me , stay who u are... its easier to make friends that way. if R being ur self ....u probably just hasn't found the one yet. GL w/ ya!
    inahan

    Answer by inahan at 9:12 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN