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There's such a thing as horrible 4's, right?

I love my son more than anything in the world but sometimes he drives everyone insane. Anytime he doesn't get what he wants, he goes into this screaming/crying tantrum that seems to last forever. Eventually he does stop and my little angel comes back but anyone have any clue how to prevent it from happening....often? I assume it's because he was the first child and was completely spoiled and now I have no idea how to reverse what we did.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • i know quite afew children like that. you could try to put him in his room each and everytime he acts like that. when my oldest tried that in the store, i pretended to walk away from her and not pay any attention to her. and she never got what she wanted anyways so she found out that it just wasn't worth it cuz when we got back home she was sent in timeout.
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 8:48 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • My daughter is 4 and does the same thing. Come to think of it, so does her 7 year old brother. Drives me crazy. And, NO, they do NOT get every little thing they ask for. They hear no or not right now more often than yes.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:53 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • My son is 4 and I'm dealing with this too. I'm sorry we are going through it, but very happy to hear he's not the only one...this too shall pass...I hope!
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 8:59 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Mine is at the end of three and an only child and we just had to not tolerate it (while we tolerated it to try to make it stop). They have the holy cow meltdowns 1) because they want control and are in between independence and cling ons 2) they want attention. Give in once and you totally feed the monster. Find a time out place away from attention and put them there and tell them they need to stay until they calm down. be patient.. It that doesn't work send them to another room and find a way to make them stay. In some instances I gave myself a time out and went into the bathroom and closed the door. The big key is that you are seperating them from the attention they seek. This can be a LONG process. Chat calmly when all is calm about you are the Mommy and its your rules. Make sure all parental figures are on the same page and stick with it. Meltdowns also occur more during changes of schedule, no nap or hunger.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 12:08 PM on Jul. 14, 2011

  • The key is to be calm and in control and not tolerate the behavior consistantly repeating the same lack of attention to the meltdown and then quitely and calmly discussing why their behavior is wrong and then how we should have behaved, and a reminder of who is in control. THIS IS NOT AN INSTANT FIX but it is one that works over the course of a few weeks when they realize that their outbursts don't get the result they crave and your posiitive reinforcement of good behavior and suggestions on how they should act start working better for them. GOOD LUCK>
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 12:11 PM on Jul. 14, 2011

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