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2 Bumps

Who's being the unreasonable one?

DH is really mad at me right now...like not talking to me because I said I didn't want to watch a 2.5 hr soccer game with him. This is not the 1st time we've had this argument. He's a sports fanatic. I'm not. I never complain when he takes over the tv to watch a million basketball, football, soccer whatever games. I always listen to him when he goes on and on about this player and that player. I even go to sporting events with him. But I really do not like watching it on t.v. though many times I watch it with him anyway just to make him happy. Today, I just wasn't in the mood. I never ask him to sit through hours of t.v. he doesn't enjoy. I watch my chick flicks on my own time so he doesn't have to suffer through 90 min of something he doesn't enjoy. We have a hobby we both immensely enjoy doing together so it's not like we don't spend quality time together. I say he's being a jerk for expecting me to sit through crap I don't enjoy, he says I should learn to love it because he does. Am I wrong for thinking he's being completely unreasonable for getting THIS mad at me for this? Especially when everything else in our marriage is fine?

 
Mom_2_cuties

Asked by Mom_2_cuties at 10:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,273 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I was just talking about this with my friend whose longtime gf had tried to change him even though he had been upfront w/her and told her since the beginning that he was not a vegetarian and likes to eat meat. She kept imposing her vegetarian ways onto him, constantly making him feel bad for eating meat in front of her and getting upset when he did. It is wrong for someone to try to change you like this. Your husband may have been attracted to you being different from him but at the same time, you're different from him. It's both a positive and a negative for him. He has to decide what about you is more important. I would put things into perspective for him. Ask him if he would prefer you be honest, caring and a loyal person than be a wife that watches soccer w/him but isn't completely honest or loyal to him. What traits would he prioritize?
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:39 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • You know the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days", what if you do sit with him and make sure he is sorry he asked? :-) Just a thought.....
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 11:00 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • Sounds like he is being unreasonable. Can he watch it alone while you do something else?
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 10:57 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • what's his problem ? he is being very unreasonable here.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 10:58 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • sounds like he's gotten used to you watching all these sports with him. Have you told him that you don't enjoy it? maybe you can work out a compromise.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:07 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • a boy not getting his way
    next time say "sure, I will watch the game and afterwards you watch my chick flick with me"
    maybe he will see the light

    when you do "watch" his games, do you have a crossword puzzle on your lap, or cross stitch, a book, something that you can do and enjoy while you keep him company? you should not have to watch any games, but since you said you usually do watch, how do you get through those? I would be doing something else while game was on.
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:09 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • He knows I don't enjoy it, I've made it no secret. I don't always watch it with him...just the big important games that he begs me to watch and I think it's fair to compromise once in awhile. Its important to him, I'll watch it with him once in awhile. but he does complain if I'm doing something other than being 100% engrossed in him and his game. If I could do something else like read or sit on the computer, there'd be zero argument!
    Mom_2_cuties

    Comment by Mom_2_cuties (original poster) at 11:15 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • He is 100% wrong to get mad at you over this. You are allowed to have separate interests and you've proven that you've been courteous enough to listen to his soccer news. He wants to change you into a soccer fan and that's unreasonable. He knew how you were beforehand. I'm wondering what he was truly looking for in a partner when you married. It sounds like he really wants a partner that's a soccer fan like him. If he can't let go of this expectation, he may become unhappier. It's really up to him to see that it's one small thing to let go if the marriage is otherwise good. Perhaps suggest he invite some of his friends over the next time to share the game w/him so he doesn't feel lonely watching it. It's natural to want to share everything w/your partner but at the same time, you have to do it in moderation. The good side of this is that you know he enjoys your company. That's not a bad thing to want at the same time.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:30 PM on Jul. 13, 2011

  • sounds like he needs a boyfriend! lol
    Minimelda

    Answer by Minimelda at 2:44 AM on Jul. 14, 2011

  • Soccer? On television? I can't think of anything more boring than watching a dozen guys in booty shorts and knee-highs maneuver a ball around a couple of acres of grass for three hours, especially when there's a better-than-decent chance the score is going to stay 0-0. The Super Bowl, fine. March Madness? Bring it on. But soccer? Forget it. I'd rather be forced to watch some eye-gusher starring Channing Tatum, and I hate that crap. Unless your husband is ready to throw down with some Project Runway with you (and you're into that), then he's the unreasonable one.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:10 AM on Jul. 14, 2011

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