Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Feeling cornered... what would you do?

My husband and I can only afford our 1 car. He works 8a-4p and is on-call all hours, so I stay home with our two little ones while he works. And when dr. appts come up he tries to schedule around it. We've been doing o.k. so far. However my in-laws, whom we live with, now insist due to the economic hardship that my husband get a second job and that I work evenings when they're home so they can watch the kids. Doesn't matter that my husband'll have the car, they want me to walk to work and back regardless of where that may be. Also, during marital couseling its been revealed that his parents are emotionally/verbally abusive therefore I don't want our kids alone with them. If we don't do as they say though we'll be kicked out of the house even though we pay them rent.

Answer Question
 
yayaNfinnigan

Asked by yayaNfinnigan at 11:08 AM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • seems like it would probably be a good idea if you guys could find a place of your own and no your right i wouldn't leave my kids with them either. good luck
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 11:11 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Who the hell are they? You are not married to them! They need to mind their own business! I would try to find another place to live!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Well first of all if you are paying rent to your in laws, then can you afford to pay rent to an apartment complex? I would not live with them if they aren't watching your kids at all. If you do work and need someone to watch your kids then I could understand you living with them. Other than that, GET OUT!!!! If you don't trust them to watch your kids then don't have them watch your kids. I will say however I would never let my husband work two jobs. I would love it if I lived near family who would be willing to watch my kids so I can work. If the car is a problem then why don't you take your husband to and from work? Or how about having your husband car pool?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I know the feeling lol! My MIL was diagnosed with a brain tumor in Jan, in Feb she had to quit working to begin her treatment, we moved to crappy upstate Ny, from beautiful s.c in with her to help her out financially and with her health. This was in March. She is always in our business and it drives me crazy. I would say move out, and put them in their place how it is not their business and you would rather struggle to make ends meet and be with your kids than go to work and leave them with someone else.
    prettyeyedmommy

    Answer by prettyeyedmommy at 11:29 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • cont... You should look into state help with housing it is not a bad thing to ask for assistance if you are trying to make it work. It is those that take advantage of the system that are wrong. In January I will be starting a new job and DH will be staying home, I already have my speech prepared to tell her to back off bc that is what works for us. She has beaten the cancer and will go back to work in Feb, and we are moving out. Good Luck!
    prettyeyedmommy

    Answer by prettyeyedmommy at 11:29 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I agree if he works 8 to 4 just take him to and from work so that you can have the car incase somthing happens with the kids and for appointments and such.....Also it sounds like a second Job wouldnt be such a bad idea so you guys can get your own place maybe you could go and see if you could get some rent assistance but you could probably find a small place or aprartment for pretty cheap... I would get outta his parents house and let your husband get two jobs or he work days and you work evenings so you can share the car and have a safe happy home for your kids!! good luck
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:32 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I can not drop him off at work and go to my own job because I don't know how to drive. I have severe anxiety issues related to driving as diagnosed by our therapist or whatever she is. And if I did know it still would not work out because his shift at work could change with as little as a hour's notice.
    yayaNfinnigan

    Answer by yayaNfinnigan at 11:55 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I'd move out. Get a small apartment that has cheap rent. They can't force you to do anything. How can they ask you to walk to work, especially in the cold!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 11:58 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I'd move out... simple as that. If they're expecting him to get a second job and you a job, then they're depending on you for 3 paychecks and that's not right. I wouldn't live with someone that I didn't trust with my kids. I'd have to move out. Maybe you should take some sort of councelling or something to help with the driving issue... I'm telling you as a person that cares that you need to work toward overcoming that incase of an emergency if nothing else. I have a friend who has that (was in bad accident as a child and is now 50 and still won't learn to drive) she's dependent on someone all the time to get her where she needs to be and it's hard. Would be harder with kids because they get sick at school, they need dr's visit (sometimes unplanned) and sometimes you just need something from the store (like medicine) ... either way I'd do something to work toward overcoming that and move out of there.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:30 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I'd have to agree with the others.. move. I'm sure it's not as simple as that though. Why are you living with them? But it really doesn't matter. They can't make you do anything but leave. They may think the have the right to tell you what to do but they don't. As long as you are prepared to leave. I wouldn't leave my child alone with them either, but the again, if they are abusive - do you really want them to be around them at all?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN