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How did a threesome, swinging or the like effect your committed relationship?

We women are more emotional creatures so I am trying to figure out how does a woman come to the decision to do this and what are the positive/negative reprecussions?

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Msunique80

Asked by Msunique80 at 11:22 AM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • a couple should never enter this time of environment without total trust of each other. i have chatted with couples it has torn apart at the same time I have chatted with people that it has brought closer.

    I do not think anyone knows how they are going to feel until they are there though, they might know but until it is upon you I am not sure how you might react.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • On down the line was divorce. My ex brought it up, I wrote the letters that found us someone who introduced us to the right people. I had fun at the time, met alot of people, some I still email as just friends. We were "in" to it for about 5 years. But now that I am remarried to a wonderful "real Man" NO I wouldnn't do it.
    Marena56

    Answer by Marena56 at 11:29 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • First of all, only do it if YOU want to do it. Never have a threesome if it is only to make your partner happy. But if you are curious about being with someone else, or if you just want to have a new experience, I say go for it! I decided that I wanted to try being with another girl, and I wanted my husband there with me. I just chose to do it with a lesbian because I felt more comfortable in knowing that this girl wouldn't try to start any relationship with my husband or anything. It is very important to choose the right person to do it with though...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • In my early 20's, my bf and I had an open relationship for about a year. We were young and questioning monogamy, etc. and thought it would be a good idea. Well, our relationship blew up in our faces in several ways. It turns out he slept around way more than I did and continued to do so after we decided to be monogamous again. He was (and probaby still is) some kind of sexual deviant and wanted to have an open relationship because of that, not because of some high minded anti-monogamy ideology as he told me. After 3 yrs. of breaking up and getting back togther, we broke up for good. He continued to try to win me back and I think he's still single to this day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • It's just a sticky situation all the way around.

    Honestly, while I've wanted a threesome with another man I know I could never ask for one because I am NOT willing to do it with another woman.

    I don't think I'd ever do it anyways--while i was in a commited relationship, I mean--because I just don't feel that confident in myself. It would lead to feelings of jealousy and insecurity and I'm better off not dragging all that spit up.
    madamekatekate

    Answer by madamekatekate at 6:02 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Would not recommend it. After years of pressure, i finally caved. after, it was like, why bother? i developed fleeting crushes on other guys for months before finally getting a divorce lawyer. his therapist called this his "wake up call" which i still resent. how it is now: he got help, went to sex addicts anonymous, and did a 180. 7 months later, we aren't divorced yet, living together in our house and raising our son. he's a good man. but the passion i HAD before is gone.. new problem: now I never want to have sex with him. our formally hot and heavy love life is now once in every month or so. i know that it was the three some experience that put out my flame.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

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