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How can I change their minds about me?

My parents and in-laws do not understand why I don't work and give me a hard time about being a stay-at-home mom. I have worked for years, including while our 1st child was an infant through toddlerhood. During which time none of the daycares lasted long because they were constantly sending her home "sick" when I had dr. notes to explain that her digestive system was very sensitive and caused the problems the daycare was seeing. We couldn't afford to keep paying DC tuition when she was sent home most of the time and I was missing work. So we decided it simply worked out better for us if I stayed home with her. Since then we have moved to another state and had a second child. Due to the cost of daycare here, it still works out better if I stay home. How can I convince our parents that I AM doing what's best for our family and I work hard too?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • who cares what they thing your doing what works best for you guys and theres nothing worng with that. Im not going to be going back to work after our baby is born becuz the cost of daycare it doenst make since. My whole check just about would go twds paying daycare whats the point of working out side the home if your not going to see the extra income in your bank account.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 11:46 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • really.. why is it ANY of their business. As long as your not going to them for money... who cares? If they don't like it that is their problem!!
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:47 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • i don't feel that you need to "justify" what you are doing for your family. It looks like any sensible adult would understand that you should be the one taking care of your children, not strangers that are being paid 7.50 an hour.
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 11:48 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • It is sad that you feel you have to convince anyone for what you are doing. Why wouldn't they want you to take care of your children instead of putting them in daycare. Personally I would say me peace to them and let them know that you and your SO are ok with what you are doing and end it from there. Damn women years ago stayed at home and if it is better for you to be a sahm mom screw the others that feel different. I was a sahm until I got divorced and I would not change it for the world..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:49 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I totally agree with sydsmom2. If you can afford to stay home, than that is the best for you and your child. Its not for anybody else to decide. I don't feel like you should have to make them understand. If they don't get it, tough.
    musikdoll

    Answer by musikdoll at 11:51 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I don't think you should have to convince anybody. If the story you just explained here didn't do it, then don't worry about it anymore. If they start giving you crap about staying home, tell them hey you don't understand our situation so I'd appreciate it if you just stayed out of it.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 11:56 AM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • let it go they suck.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:10 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I would not even try. You are doing what is best for your family, and you do not need to defend yourself for that decision. I had the same problem. I honestly think that my mother-in-law was jealous because she had worked and had missed out on a lot of what she saw me getting to experience. So she pressured me to me more like her because it was too late for her to be like me. If she says anything to you, just smile and say that you and your husband believe this is best for everybody and that you have no intention of changing anything. You can hope they get bored with the dialogue and talk about something else.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Honestly lay it out for them like you just did for us. It is better on your wallet to SAH with the kids...

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 12:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • You don't need to justify yourself to your parents. They may have an image of what they think is right, but only you know what is best for your family. Be confident in yourself, and your care of your family.
    Fiveofakind2

    Answer by Fiveofakind2 at 12:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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