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we have been togeather for 6 years and all of his family still envites his ex to everything how can i dill with that and they have 2 kids togeather but thet was never married

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Have you told anyone in the family how it makes you feel and ask them not to do it? That's what I would do.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:38 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • If she is the mother of his kids, then unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do. It's not your place to tell the family that you don't want her there. How would you feel if you were young and you got invited somewhere, but they told you that your mom couldn't come because someone didn't like her?

    I know the situation sucks, but it's just something you're going to have to deal with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • That's wonderful that they are including her. It might not feel that way to you during those visits but you aren't seeing the big picture. The fact that they have a relationship that is friendly enough for her to be included in their family functions, is a huge plus for all. Obviously it's best for the kids and for them to get along. What you might not realize is how much better that is for you. The more stress between them the more drama you have to deal with and it would just keep getting worse. Be happy that he isn'lt bringing lots of baggage to your relationship. Go out of your way to be nice to her at the gatherings. A few minutes of kindness will do just fine and then excuse yourself and go mingle with others. The more gracious you are- the sweeter the rewards from all involved. Rejoice and embrace it. You have many blessings there- make sure you don't miss out on them.
    ChattyWifePlus2

    Answer by ChattyWifePlus2 at 5:55 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Are you both married?
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 6:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • If it were me I wouldn't go to any ex's family functions. I think that's rude of her to accept the invite knowing her ex has someone else. Kids or no kids involved. Does he get invited to her family functions and does he go with YOU? Just because you're invited doesn't mean you have to go, unless it's because she wants to cause trouble or still loves him. I also think it's rude of his family to invite her knowing he's with you and you will show up.
    That doesn't show class by his family and her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:40 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I agree that the ex shouldn't show if she isn't invited. However, it sounds like the family loves and respect her for some reason, it can be just for the grandchildren to have mother around or they just simply like her that much even after 6 years.

    My in law even want me to move back in with them so they can help me care the children while i go to school. I dont' care what is their intention behind this, but everyone with the same last name happy about it. ( yes i am stil using their last name, it helps me get around the town)
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 7:01 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I think it is well past the time to cut the ties. She has children with him, but for her to be a part of things that aren't directly about the kids is to much. I'd totally see her going to b-day parties for her 2 kids, but that is it. I find it sort of disrespectful to you. I don't know the total story, but I'd expect them to see her if they wanted at a lunch date and not at family functions. She is not part of the family, but may be well liked. I find this strange, especially after 6 years.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 7:16 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • My husband has an ex wife that his family HATED, well me and his mom didnt see eye to eye on some things (this woman is literally crazy) so she started inviting his ex over to her house when she knew he would be there! Well my husband wouldnt stand for that out of respect for me so it ticked his mom off even more and she made him chose between them or me and our son, well he chose me and our son but mabey his family is doing it out of spite. Just roll with it and dont give them the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you. I wouldnt stand for it but mine doesnt have kids with his ex. But still they can invite the kids and not the mom, kinda like when you and your man have the kids the mom doesnt tag along with that so why should she with the rest of the family?
    JonahsMom1107

    Answer by JonahsMom1107 at 7:35 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I am not close friends with my husband's ex, but we do our best to get along. We are sometimes invited to events on her side, and she is sometimes invited to events on our side. When their son got engaged, we worked together to throw a wedding shower.

    Last week my stepson David invited us to lunch. I didn't know that DH's ex-wife and ex-mother-in-law were going to be there, but they were, and we had a nice time. It doesn't HAVE to be a problem. Really, there is no reason on earth why you should be threatened by or offended by her being at his family events!
    lawmom623

    Answer by lawmom623 at 7:58 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I think it is a little weird that they invite her to everything. Really everything? I think you should talk to him about it? Are you married? I would never to talk to the family, that's just me. You might look a little immature. Does his family like you? You need to fill us in on the missing pieces to this puzzle, sounds like some important info is missing....
    momof2boys423

    Answer by momof2boys423 at 8:34 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

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