My boyfriend has no kids, I got an apartment and he moved in with my kids & I. He is having a really hard time adjusting to life with children. He is not a parent, and he is not very sensitive to their problems. He says they are spoiled. I do not know how to help him adjust and understand. I feel if we can get over this hurdle he is the one I want to be with! We get along very well, he's just not on my maturity level I guess. I am a young mother (22) with 2 kids who chose to grow up faster than most people. I have a great job, and I have evrything I need, I am just looking for true love. And my kids are #1. I feel that I cannot have both a boyfriend and kids, And the kids are not going ANYWHERE!!!! I feel as if I'll never find my one thats right for me! Any suggestions on how to help the boyfriend adjust and understand while feeling part of my family?Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Dec. 18, 2008 in General Parenting
Answer by Mommy2B04 at 12:49 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Answer by kabbot01 at 1:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Answer by cheryl4martin at 1:13 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Answer by EireLass at 1:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Answer by micrespo at 1:23 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Honestly sister, I have to say that I am hearing this from your post:1. "...he is not very sensitive to their problems."Â This translates to me that he probably isn't saying things to makeÂ the problemÂ better, but worse.Â . "He says that they are spoiled."Â I think that means he doesn't like the way they act when they don't get what they want.Â (you tell me who's kids act right when they don't get what they want.)Â 3. "I don't know how to help him adjust and understand"Â First of all, he needs to do that on his own. Your need to help your kids adjust and understand. 4.Â "...if we can get past this hurdle, he is the one i want to be with."Â You have set an ulimatum, yet he doesn't know about it.Â Maybe you need to sit down and talk.
Answer by jentro90 at 1:47 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
(cont) One more thing, you are very young and probably don't realize just how immature you are still, as well. (Not being ugly here. I had my first baby at 21) But really, everyone who has children are growing and maturing all the time no matter their ages. Children throw as curve balls all the time! But I think the best advice I can give you is : Try to give him a script to follow so that he doesn't say or do anything that could possibly hurt your children's spirits. Let him know what is acceptable and what is not. Don't let him tease or embarrass them either. That hurts kids pride and self esteem.
Answer by jentro90 at 1:58 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Answer by vakatia at 2:07 PM on Dec. 18, 2008