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Should I tell my biological father...

About the birth of his second grandchild? My father and I had a very short lived attempt at a relationship about 5 years ago which lasted for 3 years. Since then he has made the choice to not be in my life. I told him about the birth of his first grandchild which was 20 months ago. He has made no attempt to contact us. I am very hurt by this and I don't want him to think that I am trying again for him to be interested in me/us by telling him about the birth. I just want to know, is it something I HAVE to tell him? Would it be scandalous for me not to tell him? Because I really don't want to unless I would look really bad for not telling him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I DONT SEE WHY YOU HAVE TO. I MEAN HE CHOSE NOT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE, WHY DO YOU NEED TO TELL HIM ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOURS. MY WAY OF LOOKING AT IT, IF HE WANTS TO KNOW HE WILL CONTACT YOU. HTH!
    mommyof20507

    Answer by mommyof20507 at 1:55 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I am in a very similiar situation. I decided to tell my father about my second son, and was promised presents and a visit, and congratulated. But since then I have yet the hear from him at all. He keeps saying "I mailed you a present- it must be lost in the mail."
    Don't set yourself up for dissappointment. Don't say a thing. If he wasn't to know about you, he'll ask. And when he doesn't just be glad you have nothing to do with him.
    kittiselly28

    Answer by kittiselly28 at 2:01 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • no it would not be scandalous. If he wanted to be a part of your life then he'd be there. He's a jerk. He doesn't deserve to be treated with the respect you would give a parent who was there for you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • You will only set yourself up for disappointment if you notify him. Don't do it.

    Save your strength for your family and the ones who really love you.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I wouldn't be setting myself up for disappointment if I told him because I already know that he would have no interest in me and would not contact me. I guess I was looking for if I have a moral obligation to tell him...something along those lines. I think it's unanimous that he does not NEED to be informed. Thanks ladies, that was my gut instinct but I always second guess myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I would say if he contacts you, go ahead and tell him, but I wouldn't go out of my way to let him know. My mother doesn't know about my 2nd son. I honestly don't care if she never does! And I don't feel bad at all.
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 2:40 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I was going to say the same thing as mom2xandz.....if you run into him or happen to talk to him, then just inform him, but if you don't then I would not go out of my way to tell him. You said he chose to not be in your life. Well, there you go. That was his choice and its not something you can change. Theres nothing scandalous about it. Im so sorry hes being like this.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:55 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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