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Is it wrong of me to tell my dad that if he wants to see me on Christmas that he has to come up here and see me??

My dad and stepmom are in the process of getting a divorce but she has been in my life for most of it. So chirstmas eve we are keeping with the tradition of going up there and having christmas with her and her family. Well that is an hour away. I have little kids and they are starting to want to play with their new stuff all day. My dad wants me to drive back down on christmas day to have christmas with him. I don't want to drive two days in a row or tell me kids that we have to go to grandpas so they can't play with their toys all day. I also don't want to travel on Christmas. I feel that if he wants to see me on christmas day he should have to come up here. We are really hurting for money and he makes way more than we do. Why can't he do the driving?

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foxymama21

Asked by foxymama21 at 5:29 PM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Holidays

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You're not wrong. Your the one with young kids...therefore you make the rules (in my opinion anyway). Everyone will have a more enjoyable Christmas if he comes to you. Just tell him that.

    Good Luck
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 5:33 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I would tell him that you can't afford to make the trip twice but you would love for him to come down to spend Christmas day with you and your family.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:35 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Tell him the truth about why you can't do it, and see what happens. He may just suprise you..
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Its all in how you phrase it. If you ask him to join you and your family, that's a nice way of going about things. Personally if someone were to tell me if you want to see me, you have to come over - I'm wouldn't be going anywhere. Its rude and and doesn't sound like that person really wants me around.

    Delivery counts for a lot. Just call and tell him the exact reasons why you don't want to go, and ask if he'd like to join you and your family at your home.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 6:03 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I agree with Ginger, that if someone told me if I wanted to see them, to come to them, I wouldn't go. I'd simply put it to him as that travel is a big hassle with kids, and that they will be cranky and tired, and perhaps it would be more enjoyable for everyone if he came to join you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:19 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • no w/ lil kids who want to play with new toys you have the right to insist on keeping them home. besides, he is the one who chose to get divorsed (i assume, well YOU didnt do it...) he can pick up teh slack from it. i tell my 'rents that too (both parts.)
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:28 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I refuse to travel on Christmas. No way. I've told my dad that if he wants to see the boys, he can drive here (he lives about 3 hrs away). So he's coming up the next day. You are not wrong, and don't let anyone make you feel bad! It's not fair to the kids to give them all these new toys, then say okay, now we've got to go sit in the car for hours so you can't play with them! I hope you get something worked out!
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 9:43 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I would just tell him to come and join you at your place. It's not unreasonable. I do the same to my FIL for boxing day. It is so much easier because the kids can play and still visit without the fits that would likely ruin the day tearing them away from their toys. Tearing the kids from the toys now that's unreasonable!!!!!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • You may have to tell your parents that unless they come to you (one on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas day) then they will have to settle for you going to them every other year in order to be fair.
    It's what most married couples do with each other's families anyway - one year with his, the next year with hers, and so forth.
    PrydferthMenyw

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 7:41 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

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