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Why? Just why?

So I'm pretty much waiting out the clock on this pregnancy. I'm big as a barn at this point. Gained damn near 30lbs, 4 lbs last week alone. omg. I made a comment to my SO about how fat I've been feeling lately and how I felt like I was going to just be a fat, loose, saggy mess after all this. He knows that I have a 10 year battle with bulimia under my belt...and yet proceeds to poke fun at my situation. Pretty much told me that my boobs were going to sag to my belly button and that I might as well get my head around the fact that I was going to weigh more than I ever have after this baby. I'm ready to cry about it because I really am feeling awful and he certainly didn't help. I know he was trying to "lighten the mood" by joking around, but it was seriously the wrong damn time to say those things. I don't know whether to bring it up or just let it go because what would arguing really do?

 
kabbot01

Asked by kabbot01 at 9:52 PM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Level 4 (51 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I really agree with you sweetie. Arguing will only stress you out and its not good for you or that precious life inside of you! In my opinion I would say let it go and just know that he was wrong for saying those things while you are pregnant. I just wish the guys could have kids so that they can feel all those hormones and have to hear us throw negative comments about them. They wouldnt be able to do it! Men are babies and we are Women, so dont give him the chance to argue with you. Its not worth it. Just know that you are a beautiful person and you can lose all that weight if you try hard enough after you have your baby! Soon your self confidance will be strong again if not stronger!
    angieluv

    Answer by angieluv at 1:07 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • For me personally I would kindly bring it up to him. If I don't talk about things with my husband I tend to replay it in my mind over and over again and I eventually start to resent him for it. But if you can just let it go and honestly not think about his unkind words than maybe that would be the best route for you:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • You need to tell him because I made the same comments to my fiancee when I was pregnant and he NEVER poked fun at it he just told me I need to be big so the baby will come out healthy. Just tell him it hurts when he says it to you, and if he truely loves you he'll understand.
    HollyRose

    Answer by HollyRose at 9:59 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Honey I gained 73 damn pounds with my son, I swear I carried more of that child in my lower back and ass than the front! But about your question, if you know that he was just trying to lighten you up about your weight but cannot let it go, then you should tell him that because of your past problems it really upset you.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:59 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • Yea that was pretty insensitive id say especilly in your situation with the eating dissorder and all..... I gained alot with my first two but didnt gain any with these last two just baby and thats it but ya know im pregnant and feel ugly and yea you feel super fat regaurdless right?? I am 37 weeks and i have gained 5 freakin pounds and the other nite i was sittin on the couch in my SO's office and i said i really want a snickers bar and the dumbass procedes to say "Oh yea thats just what you need" OMG i was furious so I just said remember that when ur biting into your double cheeseburger tomarrow chunky butt!!!! at least i have a reason to gain weight WHATS URS???!!! Men are just soooo stupid sometimes!! i would just tell him he really hurt your feelings and please dont say things like that at this present time!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I'm sure I wont feel nearly as badly about this in the morning...just felt the sting tonight I guess. He sent me a message saying "you better know I'm just messing around". Yeah pud. I just want to take a ball bat to his testicles and say "awe, c'mon I'm just playing".

    Oh god...I really need to have this baby...I'm getting irrational in a big hurry!
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:14 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I feel really bad for you. I completely understand your struggles with pregnancy and an eating disorder. I myself have/had been battling with anorexia for the past 12 years and when I was pregnant I did very well with the encouragement of my husband. He knew how hard it was for me to see all that weight coming on, but he was so supportive. However, my husband would never ever say anything nasty to me like that because he understands the struggles that I have been through. I think maybe you really need to sit down with him and talk to him about it. That is the only way he is going to see what exactly you have been through in the past and what you are going through right now. I wish you the very best of luck. You are beautiful!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • not to say that he handled it in the right way that he did not, but you should come to grips with the fact some moms have a very hard time losing the baby weight and regaurdless your hubby loves you and thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, try your best to not think about the weight factor and instead think about the beautiful baby you are bring in to the world, and how that baby needs a healthy mommy to take care of it (u didnt say weather it was a boy or girl) and a mommy who is not taking care of themself is not healthy for you so you need to eat and keep it down with my first i gained 100lbs (no joke 112 to 212) and i am happy to say i lost most of the weight i am now at 140-145 that was hard for me i also had an eating disorder i weighed 95 lbs and im 5'5 and i thought i was fat
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 10:17 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • if you focus on health not looks you will do fine, working out is healthy if you dont over do it and you can eat whatever you want just watch how much of what you eat after my first i was back down to 120 by the time she was 9 mo old and i got pregnant again, i so know its very hard to get past the weight issue but you really need to
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 10:20 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • just tell him it hurt your feelings even if he was joking and leave it at that. honey i gained 45 pounds and lost it all. it may of taken me longer to do it but i struggled with anorexia for many yrs too. so understand where you are coming from. remember most of it is baby anyway and stuff. like 25 pounds so your not not much over weight.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:21 PM on Dec. 18, 2008