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My four year old has developed quite a mouth...

he's becoming very rude. I never could have gotten away with that as a child. we've tried spanking, taking away toys for a time period. we took away the tv, the wii, the game boy... nothing. he still back talks and yells at us without any instigation; everything is calm, we are all quietly eating and he screams "No! don't you do that--that is bad!! . i recognize that he speaks to us the way adult scold kids... but why? I never did that. I would not have dared!!! how can i teach him to respect his elders and not mouth back. he goes to day care. i work full time and so does his dad. he did not learn much of this at home as certain phrases are never used by me or my husband.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • get down on his level and say " I love you, but I don't like your voice right now", "When you talk mean to mommy and daddy it makes us very sad" "I can't help you if you don't use nice words" etc. you don't have to use those exact words, but get down on his level and talk to him! He is old enough to know which behaviors are unacceptable! also if you use the time outs, tell him why he's there, then afterward make him tell you why he was there and what he can do to stay out of trouble! ask him how he should act next time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • hmmmmmmmm maybe he's a spoiled little brat! WTF does a four year old have a Wii and a game boy for???? That could be the problem!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I agree.... he's in daycare, away from his parents all day, then has electronic games to keep him occupied and away from you more. I would do away with the games for a year or so, and spend some good one one one with him.

    Kids crave attention, either bad or good. It sounds like he's getting attention from it, but the wrong attention.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

  • I think we all go through the same thing but my son doesn't have a game boy or a wii either but he does watch good movies such as care bears and learning his numbers and stuff like that and I only let him watch it once in a while I am teaching my kid schooling at home right now and he is very smart.So if your kid is mouthing off what you aught to do is show him a lot of love and also take 1 of those leap pad readers and sit down with him and teach him how to read it with you.My son loves doing that plus I am also teaching him how to write his own name and his letters and lots of other stuff as well.My son is really smart at times.He doesn't like doing his books but he does really well and he answer adding questions like 1+1=2 and 5+5=10 he is very smart in fact I am going to have him tested to see how good his level is and where he should be in school as well.

    Answer by naomi81 at 6:42 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • well... we've made the decision NOT to give the TV back... the "game boy" (what he calls it) is actually a leapster, so it is educational has also been taken up until after christmas. the problem is, from the time we all get home until his bed time three hours later, we are all actually spending time together... on the weekends he goes to my parents house (which he loves) because I work on the weekends as well... he gets TONs of attention there but he still back talks. i agree, u can never give a kid too many hugs... but when he DOES act up and taking away, spanking, and time out aren't working, what do you recommend???

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 11:58 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Call Supernanny! She's the bomb!

    Answer by chickychatter at 3:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • The next time he speaks disrespectfully, tell him you will not speak or deal with him til he says he is sorry and acts nice. He is old enough to understand a "warning". Then stick to it-don not engage with him at all. if he gets cranked up at the table, ignore him , if it gets worse, calmly pick him up and put him in another room with the door closed. Kids test all the time and it's up to us to teach them a different way-I admire you for trying so hard!

    Answer by Bearsjen at 3:45 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Well if you wouldn't have spoken that way to your parents... why not? What would they have done? You should probably do the same thing!

    But this is what I would do... when he talks back or is rude.. get down to his level, have him look you in the eye... and tell him that the way he is talking isn't acceptable and if he does it again he will have a punishment (whatever you want it to be, timeout or something like desert... but if it' something like that it has to be during meal time not later in the day) anyway... you have to stick to it. No begging, no second chances.
    In addition to this you can also have a reward system where if he does well for the day he gets a sticker or marble in a jar or whatever works for you... and at the end of the week he gets a small prize (we are talking Wii games either!) Maybe a special trip out for icecream or something.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 1:10 AM on Dec. 20, 2008