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Been to marriage counselling?

Me and my husband went to our first counselling session with our pastor yesturday. It was amazing he hit things right on the nail without us having to do the bashing eachother to air our problems. We both left there feeling like we could actually mend our relationship. Has anyone been to counselling and were you both wanting to and how did it work for you?

 
AmandaH321

Asked by AmandaH321 at 10:07 AM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • We have gone and are currently still going. We are finding out that we have to relearn how to communicate with each other and we are learning alot more about each of our pasts and how they have influenced us and made us the people we are today. It is helping us to see how and where we need to adjust our reactions and thought process. It is working really well for us, but some of my issues are pretty deep so I think we will prolly be going for a while, but heck it makes us feel better when we leave and he also helps us with problems with our son since those seem to cause problems with our marriage. Our marriage is getting stronger and stronger each and every day.
    tagable

    Answer by tagable at 4:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Yes, we've been. I do believe that it really helped my husband (which in turn benefitted our marriage); he had several "light bulb" moments whereas I did not; I'm pretty analytical to begin with and can usually comprehend what drives peoples actions and behaviors. I was the one who pushed for counseling because I couldn't get certain points across to my husband. He's the type who has to hear things from the "professionals", even if what they say is no different than what I've been telling him for years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I talked my husband into going to one of my sessions "to help me" is what I told him, but only because he wouldn't have gone if I would have said it was for us. It was a complete waste. He lied through his teeth the whole time. But, when we had our counseling that our pastor required to marry us, it went really well. We felt great about getting married afterward and it was just as you described it.
    LilMae.N.MDJr

    Answer by LilMae.N.MDJr at 10:40 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Yes - it helped us out BIG TIME. I would rec. couseling for any married couple who can't "fix"/"figure out" the problems/issues on their own. Going to counseling makes you look at / see things from a different angle - you also get different ways to "solve" the issue. It also helps if you get a good therapist too - we went thru 2 before we "found" the one that we both liked.
    Fooph121780

    Answer by Fooph121780 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Thanks ladies I find your thought's/experiences very encouraging. We tried one other counsellor only because we were ashamed to go to the pastor because he know's us. It was useless, her way of doing things didn't mesh with either of us. Thanks!
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:32 AM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • We went...I didnt want to go at first because I had asked him to go before everything disinegrated and he said it would be useless. So we went and the counselor pretty much told him hes a jerk and has a need to be right about everything after he argued with him for 45 minutes over something stupid. So, it worked for us, we went for a few months 2 years ago...We are still together and much better than I'd ever thought.
    thats_karma

    Answer by thats_karma at 2:08 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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