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OMG I FEEL LIKE I'M 15 AGAIN....

SO I MET THIS GUY ABOUT A YEAR AGO. WE HIT IT OFF. WE HAVE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR ABOUT A COUPLE MONTHS. WE BOTH AREN'T VIRGINS BUT HAVENT BEEN WITH ANYONE IN A LONG TIME. I WILL SAY THIS NOW I AM OVER 21 JUST SO YOU KNOW. I WANT TO BE THE ONE THAT INITIATES SEX, BUT I'M SCARED. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THE ONE TO START IT AND I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO DO IT. PLEASE HELP?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Are you the one who posted the same thing about 2 days ago and got repeatedly bashed b/c everyone said you sounded like a kid and shouldn't "do it"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • NO, I MISSED THAT ONE. IS IT STILL UP? THIS IS MY FIRST TIME POSTING SOMETHING IN RELATIONSHIPS, SO I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • What you are going through right now is feeling exicted and your hormones are going every which way once you have sex again and again and again then what? It is just a fling give it time don't rush it. If he doesn't make the move you just wait don't be so much to offer yourself to him the time will come. I know what you mean you feel like you are walking on clouds and feel really happy with yourself but it will only last for alittle while. Be head strong don't be easy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • If you are afraid then you aren't ready to have sex. Wait until you are married and 100% sure that you can handle the consequences of your actions.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:39 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I HAVE HAD SEX BEFORE AND WE HAVE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE, A FEW MONTHS. ITS NOT JUST BECAUSE THIS IS A FLING, BECAUSE ITS NOT LIKE THAT, I'VE HAD THEM BEFORE. I'M ON BIRTH CONTROL AND WE HAVE THE CONDOMS SO I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT CONSEQUENSES AND HE KNOWS MY LIL GIRL AND ADORES HER.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • The fact that you are on this forum asking in the manner you are about such a subject shows a naivete regarding intimate matters that are very serious. When it seems right to finally make love to someone you care deeply about - you just find a way to be intimate when it seems natural. It isn't some big plan that you ask all your friends (and cafemom buddies) how to make happen. It's not something you feel compelled to talk with anyone about other than your beloved.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • What some people seem to forget is that after going a while without being intimate with someone, it can be very ackward. EVEN experienced women who have never initiated sex find it ackward and a little unnerving. It sounds like you've waited a while for a good guy to come along. The desire to initiate the sex at least makes it sound like you are ready to take things to the next level with him. As far as how to do it, I once heard a suggestion about make a flirty little joke about sex, see if he carries it farther...go back and forth and have fun and try to test the waters (for lack of better phrase.) Or as odd as it sounds, ask him how he feels about sex...oddly enough he may not be ready (rare but it happens!) Don't get upset if her turns ya down the first time, chances are he's probably feeling a little ackward too.
    katzmeow726

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 1:42 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I agree with katzmeow....when you havent had sex in awhile you feel like a schoolgirl trying to figure out how to initiate it again! Have you two ever had sex with each other? Just start by kissing him, if he wants more if will evolve to sex.
    thats_karma

    Answer by thats_karma at 1:47 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Karma is right. My DH (then boyfriend) and I had talked about sex very openly. I told him I wasn't yet ready. We were both virgins at the time. We'd messed around but nothing beyond that. Well when I finally told him I was ready we decided to plan the "big event." I had been on the pill for a year by then, so we decided to not use condoms and he'd pull out for extra "protection." Well one night we were staying with his sister, away from parents. One thing led to another, it was just natural. We both remember that night, one of our favorites :-)
    katzmeow726

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 1:57 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Why do you want to give yourself away so badly? This is part of you that you CANNOT get back. When you finally do marry, how will you feel to sit down with the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and tell him how many others you had sex with in the past? Seriously, I'm not stupid and not naive.... but you should save yourself for him. You are setting yourself up for disappointment by giving yourself to this boy. If he wants sex from you before making a real committment to you, he's a sorry excuse for a man and he doesn't respect you at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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