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Husband has no friends...

I need opinions...my husband is a great man and great father however, he has ZERO friends. He is a friendly guy but not the kind that likes to go out and have fun with people. He likes to keep to himself and stay home for the most part. We had plans to get out (which we VERY RARELY do) and go to the carnival while his mom watched our son. My BF who lives 9 hours away ended up coming today for the weekend and asked if I wanted to do a girls night. I asked my husband if he had any friends that he could invite with us so we could possibly split up and I could have some time with the girls (don't do this often either). Especially since she is only here for the weekend! Well now my husband has decided to just stay home and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. I feel so guilty for even bringing it up. Am I in the wrong? I feel like I can't go out with my friends because he doesn't make the effort to have any. And he claims to hate just about everybody. He doesn't like to get involved with conversation and can be kind of rude at times. It's very embarrasing for me. I am having a hard time feeling okay about going out now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Jul. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Maybe he doesn't need extra friends. Maybe you and his family are enough. I would rather be with my husband than a friend any day, your husband sounds just like me actually.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:25 PM on Jul. 22, 2011

  • I actually kind of envy you my bf is so bogged down with friends that it is constant drama and our plans are continually broken so he can hang out with them.

    I don't think you should feel guilty but I do think that maybe he was looking forward to spending the time with you and that maybe you could do both lunch with her or a night with her and the opposite night with him...
    acrain82

    Answer by acrain82 at 11:28 PM on Jul. 22, 2011

  • I think having friends is important, but going out with the guys, or girls, is something my Hubby and I don't do. My Hubby has friends but it's mostly because of things they have in common, like working on cars, driving big trucks, etc. They talk on the phone, and come ovr and hang out in the shop, but they don't go out to the bars, or have poker nights. We feel that we're married for a reason, so if we do go out with friends, it all of us together... I'm sorry if that didn't help.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:30 PM on Jul. 22, 2011

  • You need to go out. He's having a pity party.
    My husband is socially awkward, has a negative attitude and is very self centered. So whenever he talks to people he doesn't look them in the eyes, he talks mainly about himself and if it's not about himself, it's about knocking others. It makes it VERY uncomfortable for me, so I'd RATHER go ALONE!
    I think he's jealous you'd be having a good time, and like you said he has no friends to go out with and invite.
    Although it is hard, you have to remember that your spouse should be your number one priority, but that's not to say he should be keeping you or guilting you from having a social life and friends...because you need to be your own person within your relationship.
    "I eventually told my husband, if you don't have friends, then you should try making some! It's not responsibility to find you friends."
    I've also had to let go of feeling like he's a reflection of me. He isn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Jul. 22, 2011

  • My hubby used to have a really good friend until he got sick and couldn't work anymore. The "friend" drifted away. I was surprised to see them come by when our son died. They are still friends on Facebook but the "friend" doesn't call or send emails at all anymore. This was his only real friend unlike me. I have my bestest who used to be my SIL and several friends I went to college with. I wish this "friend" would just drop by and see him once in a while.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 11:33 PM on Jul. 22, 2011

  • try doing things he likes.. maybe golf, and YOU try to pick up some new friends that are couples as well and do a few couples night.. maybe that will loosen him up?
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:51 PM on Jul. 22, 2011

  • Doesn't sound "friendly"
    mommydinasaur

    Answer by mommydinasaur at 9:18 AM on Jul. 23, 2011

  • Go out and enjoy your friendship. His take on friends shouldn't determine your involvement with otheres. Just accept that you arent' going to be going out with other couples and that he isn't going to spend time making and seeing friends. You didn't say he minds but even if he does, don't feel guilty. You need those relationships to be health and have a well rounded life. Some men don't. My husband doesn't and I have just gone about making my own friends and going out with the girls. No sense stewing about it either.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 6:50 PM on Jul. 23, 2011

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