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Gave my son an ultimatum should I follow through?

My son (12.5 year old 7th grade) can't seem to get his act together and doesn't live up to his full potential in school. I told him if he made a C on his report card he couldn't play on the basketball team anymore. I honestly thought he would shape up, but guess what......he missed making a B by one point. I really don't want him to quit playing because it will hurt his chances of playing in high school. However, I do feel like I need to follow through with my threat. Any suggestions?

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Asked by Dyndudes at 12:48 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 11 (626 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • I think it depends on if he really made an effort or not. If he really did try and that's what he earned by doing his best, I'd probably let him play BUT if he didn't put any effort out then definately follow through.

    Answer by luvnmy3kid at 12:51 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Is there any way the coach could put him on probation like missing out a game?

    Answer by momofpurebliss at 12:51 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • If you feel like he really tried his best, then maybe let him keep playing, but let him know that you won't do it again.

    Answer by purvislets at 12:52 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Did he make an honest effort?? Did you see him studying? Did you see him doing his homework? Did he make any sacrifices in order to try and bring his grades up? A low B is VERY easy to achieve if he would have put 100% into it. But if you can answer YES to ALL of those questions.. then he should be able to play, however i think you should stick to your guns OR take something else away from him since playing basketball could keep him out of drugs. Either way he should be punished somehow. You don't want him walking all over you.

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:53 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I think when you give an ultimatum-you have to follow thru or child will nevr take it seriously.BUT big but is 1 pt. and how much did he improve? i think if he made an effort you should let him play but say to him"I am not making you quit because I see you trying and that is what I really needed from you." that way he gets a compliment and you get to not lose credibility. Good job on the "almost" b!

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:53 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Well you gave him an ultimatum an said LIVE UP TO YOUR FULL POTENTIAL,You have to ask your self is a B his full potential.One point isnt that far off so I would have to say yes a B could be.However he did make a effort to rise above his current C.You should of never said such strong punishment.I believe he tried an he did rise to his potential.You care enough to want him to reach the goal.He has proven he did try to reach your goal.If you take basket ball from him.I assure you ,you wont see that potentail in the future.Be a loving mom an say you believe in him.An he proved just what you already knew.He is you expect the rise to continue.Kiss him an hug him an say your proud of him.

    Answer by fearful5 at 1:19 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • absolutely....if you expect him to live up to his word... you also have to live up to yours. this little life lesson doesn't only mean when it's something GOOD or a also has a down side. Being a parent means sometimes you just aren't very well liked for a short time...but you will be rewarded with love and children who respect you!!!

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:13 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • If this were my child, seeing how close he made it, I would let him. But only on the condition that he maintain that grade/make it better by the next report card. If it is less of a grade at any point, then I would make sure he understands the consequences: NO SPORTS!

    Answer by Ophy at 2:56 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I would talk to his teacher first before asking people on here. Not being rude but 1 point? With so much crap in schools, he could go from basketball to God knows what. I would not take that as serious as a 69, ya know? He may have tried his hardest. At least he tried. I am sure he did not sit down and map out how he could make a 79 to piss you off ya know?
    Be careful with what you tell the kids, you get situations like this.
    Good luck momma.

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • you must follow thru. if you dont you will destroy your credibility and authority.
    and I hope this is a lesson to you to NEVER make threats you don't intend to follow out.

    Answer by teri4lance at 3:12 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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