Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone think it's unfair that men can't decide when/if they are to become fathers?

So I am aware that it takes "two to tango" but doesn't it seem unfair that in accidental/unplanned pregnancies, the majority of men never get any say so in whether they are to become fathers? We women can choose to have an abortion, keep the kid, or give it up for adoption, but the men just have to sit idly by and wait for a decision to be made. I know that we women carry most of the burden (I'm pregnant now, trust me I know how hard it is), but men should get to be involved in these decisions, too. I see so many posts about this kind of thing and everyone just says "he's an idiot, you follow your heart and keep the kid no matter what." Isn't that unfair to the men? Don't you think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (111)
  • NO. I also think women shouldn't be able to have abortions just because they don't want the baby. Abortions as birth control are INFURIATING to me. If you don't want to risk becoming a parent-father OR mother- you shouldn't be having sex at all!

    Answer by MamaCatCat at 2:34 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I do think it's unfair. There is a post on here about a man that doesn't want the child. Supposedly told the gal multiple times. So he doesn't want it, but will be responsible for it for the next 18 years. Yes, unfair. HOWEVER....if you don't want the risk of parenthood....don't have sex.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:35 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • i think that if the female wanted to get rid of the baby the father should have a say so on if he wants to be there. but also look how many guys get a girl prego and run for their lives and leave her with the baby? i just don't get it either way?

    Answer by watersgirls at 2:35 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • i think its a bit unfair but i guess in the end it is the women who has to carry the baby for 9months and if thats what she wants to do then i guess its her choice.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 2:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • HA i just posted something about this....i think ur who i posted it about on that one womens question about her husband.... Honestly have u ever been in a situation where u got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby and ur SO didnt?? i think that if people are grown enough to have sex... they should be grown enough to use precautions to not get pregnant..... if u dont want a kid than by all means u do wat u need to do to have a kid... but if ur fuckin around and ooooppss get prego... than u have to deal with ur actions.... i....

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • think abortion is a fuckin cop out [ except in a REAL bad situation,.......rape, drugs ect....] but now and days its so easy for people to go that route... men should have a say yess.. but if u cn lay dwn with a girl and ur man enough to do that... than take care of ur shitt... women piss me off offense... but honestly.. if u were nvr in this situation.. than u cnt speak on it... cause i kno for myself.. i wuld never make a decision to abort a child.. based off a man...


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • if they dont want kids they should wear a condum and make sure the women their with is on birth control too. but if she does get pregnant a man should have the decision of the baby too becaus it is affecting his life also.

    Answer by symle456 at 2:52 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Birth control is not 100% effective. I have a male friend who got a girl pregnant at 21, they weren't together, they were barely dating. This girl had two other kids from different men and lived off all their chld support. It basically ruined my friends life. He is a good dad, but he was all psychologically messed up about it, he couldn't have sex at all, with anyone for years! He ended up getting fixed when he turned 25 (that's when the Doc's would let him) but he has a serious love/hate relationship with his son. If he had been a woman, he would have had a choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • And women also lay down and get pregnant and then whine about how their SO's don't want their unplanned babies... Let's not forget that some women purposely use no birth control and lead men to believe otherwise. I have two friends who do this on a regular basis, even tho. they both deny they want to get pregnant. I'm all for feminist rhetoric, but come on, we need to start involving our men in our decisions, rather than having this "well,I'll just go it all alone" attitude.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • yeh but everyone knows birth control cnt be 100% affective... i was on BC wen i got prego... if u KNOW u dnt want kids than wear condems while birth control. or dnt have sex... i totally understand where u r commin from wit this.... but it annoys me to think that men are "victims" .... i mean in all realness.... women cn be bitches and trap men and be fuckin evil.... ive seen it dne.... but men have a mind too and can speak and think....

    its a double standard situation and i think on either end... if ppl were more responcible. it wuldnt happen as much...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
birth control??

Next question overall (Politics & Current Events)
Caylee's ramaines Id