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MY FUTURE MIL VENTING and need opinions Please

So today I caught up with an old friend from high school while we are visiting families here in England and she offered to go to lunch and the mall or movie with me. I thought it best to leave my daughter back at the house with her daddy, because he didn't have any plans that I knew of. So I go home and ask him and he has made plans with some old friends, but he said that could wait another day he'd watch the baby. So we go upstairs and his mother asks where I'm going and I tell her and she was like well doesn't toni(my fiancee) have plans and he said yeah but it can wait another day and she threw a complete fit about this... CONT'D


Asked by HollyRose at 2:33 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • A real mother doesn't stop her life because she decided to become a mother...maybe that's how things worked in her marriage but if your DH doesn't have a problem with it then she shouldn't. You were going to the movies which is not always a child friendly activity. What's wrong with a father wanting to be a father? As for you being angry with him...I understand but if this is the first time you've really gotten into it with his mother than he may have been a little shocked. I can see how you would have wanted some defense.

    Answer by micrespo at 2:45 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • It's really none of her concern and both of you should make that very clear to her.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • CONT'D and she told me a real mother doesn't need the father to watch a baby that I should take her with me since Toni had plans first and I was acting irresponsible. I got mad because of course I was offended by it so I reacted to it, and we started a huge fight and Toni just stood there speechless and she took my daughter out of his hands and handed her to me. I was so mad by this that I told Toni I didn't want to stay here to remainder of the month we are supposed to visit and I packed my stuff and the babys and I am now at my cousins in a different city 2 hours away. I have a reason to be mad right? And then I was kind of mad at Toni for not saying anything, not expecting him to pick sides or anything but I would have liked him to say its fine mom don't worry about it. Am I overreacting too much or is she just...a bunch of bad words???

    Answer by HollyRose at 2:38 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I agree, it is none of her business. Definately stand up for yourself now because it will only get worse. And yes I do agree that he should have said something but on his defense the fight probably caught him off guard and was not sure what to say. Don't be too upset with HIM until you both have a chance to discuss the situation without the MIL.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 2:50 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • That was a decision between you and your fiance, she should have let you handle it together which it sounds like you already did. Depending on how new the baby is, you may have been able to take the child, but it was your choice to not, which is okay. I think all Dad's should get some one on one time with their kids. I hope when you packed up to go, that you took your fiance with you. He likely didn't know how to handle the situation and I'm hoping he talked to her after you left and explained that you'd already talked about it before she came in. Good Luck!

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:13 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • That is none of her darn business! And your fiance is clearly a mama's boy and he needs to remedy that NOW! He should have told her to stay the heck out of it! It has NOTHING to do with her or her opinions.

    Answer by feesharose at 3:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Wow, she's totally interfering...NOT HER BUSINESS. I agree with the above poster
    "Definately stand up for yourself now because it will only get worse. "
    My MIA once told me I wasn't a real mother because my child's nose was running and I wasn't prepared. She pulled a tissue out of her sleeve and said,"You're not a real mother!"
    15 yrs later, I'm still married to her son, she's still my MIA, and I still don't take her shi**. I have not one ounce of guilt...Our relationship is what she made it.

    Answer by good2me at 3:22 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I would just thank your lucky stars that after this month is over you're going to be hundred and hundred sof miles away from her. Sh has no right to talk to you liek that and you have every right to be angry at her and you have the right to be miffed with your fiancee for at least not intergecting that it was ok and he did'nt mind at all.
    I have to admit tho, I'm a little confused...You and the baby are two hours away? Or all 3 of you are now 2 hours away?

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 3:32 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Just me and my baby left for now I told my fiancee if you want to come, come and if you want us back there for christmas talk to your mom. And my baby will be 1 next week so taking her to a movie....yeah no I think I'll pass =]


    Answer by HollyRose at 4:52 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Last I recalled it took the two of you to make your baby, therefore, both of you are responsible for it. The decision is between you and your SO, not his mommy. You did the right thing, good job on standing up for yourself. You need to talk to you SO about standing up for you, because it was none of her business. Good Luck and Happy Holidays!

    Answer by MyLoves041419 at 10:39 PM on Dec. 19, 2008