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Why is it soooo hard for MEN to accept children with disabilities or believe that they are disabled and not just discipline problems?

I don't get why some fathers are so against believing and accepting their child has a disability/disorder and wants to deny everything instead of accepting it and working with the child instead of treating them like they are "normal" when they aren't. Have you experienced this? How do you deal with it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • If the disability is one that can't be "seen", then it's easy for people to deny it. In the old days it was called the "ostrich school of child psychology"...if you stick your head in the sand, it doesn't exist.
    Men have a hard time believing THEIR child is less than perfect. I'm the mom of an ADHD son who is grown and has a family of his own. It was trying but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I have not experienced this at all. My SO has an autistic child and he is fantastic with him. he understands autism and has really helped his son reach a higher potential.

    With our baby on the way, there are markers that show maybe some abnormalities, maybe even Down Syndrome. He has already accepted the idea of it and is preparing. Even though the doctors believe that everything is fine, my SO is educating himself for the possibility and is prepared for another challenge.

    I will say though that I am a very lucky girl to have found such a wonderful man.

    Answer by girlneffy at 4:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • i agree with the 1st poster. men have issues w/ something being wrong w/ "their" kid. i think it has to do w/ it being a sign of themselves. if their child is disabled then they must be too. like it makes them less of a man. men also might have been dreaming of their son being a certain way...playing sports & what not. but they cant come to grips w/ their daydreames about their kids being wrong/impossible likea woman can.
    not saying they're all like this, just an idea.

    Answer by okmanders at 8:11 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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