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I feel like I need help

I'm so pissed at my husband and I'm to the point where I don't even know why we're together. He doesn't work and hasn't had a steady job for 2 years. He's got a temp now but hasn't gone the past 3 days because of snow. Our neighbor still went to work and she travels farther than he does. He's always got excuses. He begs for sex and I don't know if I don't want it cuz i'm not close to him or because I just had a baby. Last night I just laid there. I wasn't wet or anything...he continued until he got himself off. I was mad cuz he didn't care that I wasn't into it but at the same time I figured...maybe that will keep him off me for another week.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Cont. We've gone to counseling and had everything fixed before we got married and the only reason we stopped going is because we don't have the money. I feel we need to go. I have been depressed and he made it worse today by making me feel like a bad mom...I kinda just want to leave and be done with him but I don't want to lose my baby over it. I have tried and tried and I don't know what else to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Why would you lose your baby over it if he's the dead beat who wont keep a job?
    RyleeMendez

    Answer by RyleeMendez at 7:30 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Honey why would you lose your baby over leaving? You sound pretty miserable and don't be like me and waste 7 yrs of your life with someone who cannot care. You deserve to be madly in love and loved in return by someone who can be a lover and friend. It sounds like he has a different work ethic than you maybe and that is hard to get around. Weigh the pro's and cons of "is he adding joy to my life, or taking joy away from it?" good luck.-jen
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:33 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I don't know what to tell you. I can play the supportive roll, but it sounds like you should leave. You don't want that kind of a role model for your child. As for sex he gets none. If you aren't in the mood the answer should be no. My SO knows that. If I say no the answer is no, and vice versa. Good luck
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:35 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Well I have so much built up anger towards him and I yell and say words I shouldn't. I'm trying really hard not to be that way...but that was how I was raised. He does things on purpose to make me mad and then just laughs when i blow up on him...like it's so funny. Then he calls me by my moms name to make it worse. He is always trying to make me feel like a bad mom...like when my son fell off the couch and today he went on and on about how he was to close to nail polish remover.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • CONT I was trying to get something off my clothes with it and he's the one who laid him down...I've had him all day and I was trying to get my clothes ready to a holiday party. I probably should have moved him but I didn't think anything of it...I made a mistake...people do but he didn't have to make me feel like shit over it. If I just left, there's always people saying you cant go out of state or it's kidnapping. I don' t have anyone to go to, except out of state. I used to have good credit and a good job and now i'm a sahm that can't afford to sah and he keeps saying I'll take care of it. the economy is bad...well at least go to the job you do have!!! 8 bucks an hour is better than nothing. I feel like i need depression medication but I don't want to start any cuz he could use that against me if I ever left. He tells me all the time "you need zanex" or whatever it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • its not kidnapping for you to go to somewhere out of state
    thats only if your have neither custody or permission
    since you have custody, you dont need permission
    leave, take baby with you and once you get where-ever, the file for divorce and full custody
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 7:49 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • i agree with bi-polarmommy. you have every right to go out of state, i think as long as you tell him. i think he is lazy and he shouldn't be asked to have a family if he doesn't want one. so leave him or get state assistance for health care and have them pay for counseling.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:15 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • also he needs a wake up call leave him till he can prove that he wants you guys and set for yourself the requirements of what you need him to be and don't go back until he has proven himself.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:16 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Federal law states that kidnapping is when someone OTHER THAN the mother takes the child.
    Zarviemom19

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 10:30 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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