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help dealing with my mother

My mom had me when she was 18. She said that she never got to live her young years because she had to raise a child. I am 20 and I now have a daughter. I have a job and I am still going to college. My mom had a job driving school bus. She quit about 4 months ago, and has yet to get a new job. She had me get welfare because we dont have enough money to live on. She uses that money for bills, which is fine and what the money needs to go to ... but I just wish she would get a job. She has also regressed to drinking and smoking weed all the time. As if now she can finally live out her teenage years. I have caught her smoking and drinking before she was supposed to babysit. I made it very clear to her that I would miss school or work rather than leave the baby with her. Should I just let it go ? Let her "grow up" finally? I also am the one that has to do all the between work, school, and baby.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Dec. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • First of all if your dont let your mom guilt you! SHE had sex and SHE got pregnant just like alot of people do at that age. Secound doing drugs in the house with your DD is no acceptable, not only is it unhealthy for the child, it is against the law.

    Answer by Slynnguinn at 7:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I would set her straight and then I would move out. You should never leave your child with someone under the influence of anything. I know its hard with the holidays but you are a mother that needs to think about the health and safety of the child. If your mother is using in the house with the child then your child is getting that in his/her system also. If you are in college I would look into family housing dorms so that you can get your child into a better situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • I'm sorry mom is picking now to relieve teenage yrs . All you can really do is try to find someone you trust to help watch the baby. You can't change her hon, but you can try to talk to her. Be non-confrontational and let her know you see her side but you need to go to work and school and you don't feel good about leaving the baby with her when she is "partying". I wish I could be more help but heres a "mom" hugs from a mom wishing you well. I am proud of you for working and finishing school while raising a lil one. Keep going sweetie it will not always be this hard..I am hear to listen..-jenni.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:46 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • Find your own place. She is not reliable to have the care of the baby. And drugs in the house are dangerous.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:08 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

  • move out!

    Answer by lowencope at 10:20 PM on Dec. 19, 2008

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