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Am I being too sensitive?

My husband has 2 kids and I have one....no shared children. Although my daughter has been in his life since she was 1. This last year my husband deployed and things got weird. My daughter and I were excluded from his parents lives (they have been divorced since my husband was 3 and are both remarried.) I kept in touch with them sending pictures, sending e-mails, remembering holidays, birthdays etc but they had no interest in seeing us eventhough they only live 45 minutes away.

They ignored birthdays, christmas etc as far as we were concerned, but they had no problem contacting me to get christmas lists for my husband and his two children. (As is done every year...except my daughter and I are normally included). Now my husband is home from the Middle East and my feelings have been hurt all year. I have voiced this with my husband since he left. He says if I have a problem with it...then I should stand up for myself and my daughter and say something. I feel he should say something....he is their son and the only dad she knows. I realize that my daughter is not their bio grandchild, but she has been in the picture for the last 7+ years. I am hurt by their lack of interest in me and my daughter. I am frusterated by my husband allowing his family to treat us this way. Am I being too sensitive? Any suggestions?

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bridemom

Asked by bridemom at 12:52 AM on Jul. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (76 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I agree with your your husband ... stand up to them and let them know. However, as your husband, he should also take a stand on your side with them.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 12:55 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • HE should say something and honestly HE should be upset his family is treating you and your daughter that way. Honestly I'd worry about how your daughter sees things like why she is being excluded from everything. She's just a child and doesn't understand everything fully. Trust me things like that can emotionally damage a child. That's exactly how my dad's (he's really a step dad but the only father figure I've ever had) family treated me.
    onemellowmom

    Answer by onemellowmom at 12:56 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • I don't think you're being too sensitive. But I do think you should say something to them and he should SUPPORT you. I don't think he should have to address it, but I think you should and he should take your side on it. So when you say something, he should be there agreeing with everything you are saying.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • I think you have a legitimate grievance . A husband's first duty is to his wife - and vice-versa - and he should be doing more to support you .
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 1:02 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • I agree - He needs to step up on this one.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 1:12 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • I think you should express your feelings on the matter but your husband should stand behind you and support what you are saying.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:14 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • That's really sad :( I think if your daughter was younger then she wouldn't really notice but at her age now she is noticing that she is being left out. Obviously he looks at her as his own child and he's the only Dad she knows so it is absolutely unacceptable for them to treat you and her that way. I do think that you should bring it up but he needs to have your back! He needs to say " look, this is my daughter! You need to accept her and treat her like you treat your other grandkids!" you are not being too sensitive. This is a very sensitive situation. I'm sorry you have to go through this :(
    Crzymom010203

    Answer by Crzymom010203 at 5:33 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

  • He needs to stand up to you, and HIS daughter and you do too. Neither one of you should keep their mouth shut about this.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 5:45 AM on Jul. 28, 2011

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