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Any one have some advice about my 2 year old?

He has started throwing even more fits than he already was.I always try and give him choices so he feels involved and can pick what he wants but he will pick a choice I will give it to him and he will throw a fit.Or he will pick one I will go to give it to him and he will change his choice and then try and give him that one and he will just switch back and forth and nomater which I give him he throws a fit.He also will not listen when I tell him to leave stuff alone or to stay out of some where.I feel like I am constantly punishing him. We try timeouts and spanking not much change. I'm not sure but I think a little of it is he fights taking naps now so I think he is tried sometimes.Also I just had another baby so maybe he is a little jelouse but he is always good when he interacts with his brother.I also make sure I devote a little of my time specialy for him everyday so maybe he would not be jelouse.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Dec. 20, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • Make the choice for him and dont show him the other options, ;o)

    Because as of now,
    When you show him ....like that...
    what do you want this or that,
    In his mind, Its already set on BOTH! lol

    So if you say NO only one. they throw fits, i know i did this with dd recently .. timeouts really dont work for my little one neither, and i never smack her so,...i just try to really make reailty hit her and start pretending to throw a fit myself i know it sounds goofy but she looks at me, and is like what the hell is she doing, and i say THATS what you look like, i will do it too .she usually after a fit says SORRRRY momma, when their throwing a fit their brain bascially shuts off so they dont know what their doing at that moment, ...could be jealousy i will be going thru that in around 9 days lol,
    i will let u know!
    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 10:21 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • The only problem with that is it is not just things I show him. Like we are in the middle of trying to potty train so I try to encourage him to go to the potty he has a little potty chair but he also can go on the big potty with the seat cover thing so when he asks I take him to the potty and I just put him on the little potty and he will say he wants the big potty and will want to go back and forth with that so I tell him not that is it and go put a diper back on but that is not good cause I want him to learn to use the potty and get out of dipers. Also he use to always put his butt up for me to put his dipper under him when I say butt up and butt down. Well now he wants to still do it but he won't sometimes so I go to put the dipper under him myself and he throws a huge fit and pulls the dipper way and turns over so I can't get it on.
    MercifulMommy

    Answer by MercifulMommy at 10:46 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • instead of punishing him alot try focusing on his good behavior and reward him for that...even if you can only find one little thing a day... react very positively like a little cheerleader for his good behavior and say mommy is so proud of you! And try more of ignoring the bad and that might help also...... at this stage its communication problems so just try to understand his needs a little more. Trust me I'm going through the same thing, but most the time I realize its my fault my son is acting out b/c I wasnt paying attention when he was trying to tell me something and he got frustrated. Good luck~
    ashley8406

    Answer by ashley8406 at 10:48 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • sounds like he is just trying to play with you


    ashley8406

    Answer by ashley8406 at 10:50 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I know it's rough isn't it?!?!? Went through the same with my son. I'd give him 2 choices and he would do the back and forth thing. I then made the rule that he only get's to choose once and if he changes his mind then that's just too bad. It's kind of a control thing they do. Kids are apparently always trying to get control of a situation. That's why they'll likely tell you no to something they really want. Just so they can feel in contol. There were some nonsense things I'd just let my son "rule" Like in the bath his whole body needs to be washed, but I let him decide the order his "parts" were washed. Try to find something in your routine that he can control, obviously within you limits, but he dosen't need to know that.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:53 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I do try and give him alot of encouragement and I have told my husband to also try to do the same so he was getting more positive attention. I don't know if he is play or what but it is frusterating. Alot of the stuff can not be ignored cuase he mess with stuff that can hurt him or we live with my parents for right now so he trys to mess with there stuff and I can't let him. And alot of stuff is just everyday stuff like giving him a drink with a meal I will give him milk and he will say no I want juice I tell him he is only getting the milk and he throws a fit or says he want a differant cup than the one I give him I tell him no that it is this one or none and he throws a fit. Some fits are short lived but some go on and on and on.
    MercifulMommy

    Answer by MercifulMommy at 11:01 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Keep giving him options. When he makes a choice, stick to it. If/when he starts fussing, simply state "that's what you chose" and walk away. He's old enough to learn about choices and consequences. It will take a few times, but he'll catch on. My 2 year old has been making choices for at least a year now....he now knows that once he makes a choice that's it...and he puts more thought into it. (it's one of those "you can see the wheels turning" things lol)
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:01 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • i have a 4 year old that has been the same way since she was 2.. lol... alot of it is probably boredom and the fact that it is the terrible twos!! i have learned through experience that sometimes time out can be the best resolution because once they get mad it is really hard to convert there attention to something else. also talking calmly when you would rather yell back at them works wonders too cause if your not yelling then they realize there is no point in them doing it either... and the biggest reason i believe is because now is when he/she is going to push all of the boundaries to see what he/she can get away with. and you have to be firm and consistent with them or it will never end!
    boogirlsmommy

    Answer by boogirlsmommy at 1:05 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

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