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Considering leaving him

This morning I decided I am really considering leaving my husband. We are really missing a lot in this relationship. No I love yous, no good mornings. Basically when we have sex its just a "do you want to do it" Im beginning to feel like the grass might be greener elsewhere. Really if I leave I just need time for myself becuase I am sooo miserable right now. I guess Im kind of venting but hoping someone has some experience here. I told my husband Im not happy and things need to change or we are separating but he doesnt seem to care. I dont know. Im just sick of being sick and tired of him. Only posting anoymous cuz my SIL is a member. sorry ladies!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Dec. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If you've tried and it's not getting better, I don't see a problem with separating. Maybe it will make him think. Do you have kids. I wasn't happy in my 1st marriage & I thought I was doing right by staying in it for my daughter but I was wrong. Now I'm married again and madly in love & my ex is engaged and we get along great.
    Jan40

    Answer by Jan40 at 11:18 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I suggest perhaps trying marriage councilling. It might help.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 11:21 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • At this point Jan I dont know how it feels to be in love. Im feeling like its all just a fairy tale and could never happen. Thats how unhappy I am. We have been together since our teenage years so he is basically all i know. at this point i know im not happy. yes we have 2 kids. both school age. its hard walking away from a life that is all u know though. it will be like starting over again and im sure he wont make anything easy for me with the kids. i just know its going to be really difficult.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Do yourself a favor and think about everything. (Yes, i went thru this) I started all over and had people tell me I wasn't going to make it, my children would be wild, all kinds of stuff. Well, we made it, my children are awesome, but, there is one thing. It was extremely hard, but, well worth it.My x husband and I had a better relationship not being married to each other. We were better as friends who had children together. Don't stay because of children, stay only if you are in love with your husband and want a future with him. I said in love with him,not that you love him, theres a difference.If you have done everything you can to make it work, then follow your heart.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 11:29 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • There is nothing wrong with taking a break. Separations sometimes do wonders. It can bring back the spark we thought we lost. Once gone he might realize what he had and want it back and be willing to work to get it back. Perhaps you to could start dating each other again and allow him to remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:31 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Feeling the same way....I wish I could offer any advice but please know you are not alone :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • there are somedays I feel like I leaving so If I can I go visit a relative or my parents and when I get back i am so glad to see him and he benefits from some time alone too. I def recommend some marriage counseling or if he wont go .. some personal counseling for yourself to vent to someone who can really help you! Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Ok. I feel your pain, I really do. But Marriage is a death to you part thing, not a grass is greener thing. You need to fight for this, because as far as I can tell, there isn't any adultery or abuse. You made a commitment.
    I do think it is wise for you to tell your hubby how you are feeling and take some alone time. Also seek out some marriage counseling and start spending some not having unhappy sex time together. Get a hobby outside of the relationship too, it's unhealthy to spend too much time together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I understand. I left my bf (of 6 years) because of similar problems. Sometimes it is better to let go than to continue resenting yourself and him. You tried the best you could and that's all you could do, now it's time to turn to plan b.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:40 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

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