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advice?

Okay so currently im pregnant with my second child with a different father then the first. My baby thats in my tummy's father i broke up with him about 3 weeks ago because he got mad at me and said he didnt want to see me unless i got engaged to him yesterday because i graduated yesterday and he wanted to be sure i said yes when i graduate or something. Anyways i broke up with him and told him i need to get my life more together before i commit to someone like that. I start college in 3 weeks and im working on getting my own place and i have a job and of course raising my 21 month old daughter and being pregnant.

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jaelynsmama07

Asked by jaelynsmama07 at 12:52 PM on Dec. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • He got mad that i broke up with him even tho he said he didnt want to see me and then called the cops and said i threatened to kill myself, so the cop came to my house and since me and him had been texting took my phone away and read all the text messages i had sent and he had sent he didnt find any way that i said i was going to kill myself and luke my baby in my tummys dad said he would forward the text i sent to the cop which he never did cuz i didnt say that! But the cop read everything and luke had got angry and told me i deserved everything my daughters dad did to me (he did alot of emotional damage, told me my daughter should die, just alot of mean things) and then i went into panic attacks, cop took me to er for domestic violence that my first childs dad did and according to the cop luke did and then looked up lukes files and found he had warrents. so ended up taking him to jail.
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 12:53 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Luke got out of jail 3 days ago and has been texting me none stop asking me to get back together, i told him i cant at least right now becausei have to get college established and stuff and he has to get his life together. I have told him he needs to get a job and stuff do something with his life and all he does is sit there, and he told me he would do anything to get me back so i told him to his life together and all he does is cry to my friends and do nothing to take care of himself! i dont want to be with someone who cant even take care of themselves hes too concerrned about getting back with me, and he dont have a job, he is living with my best friend has no rent or bills to pay, has diabetes and when even when i was dating him if something came up where i had to do something for my futuree he wouldnt take care of himself.
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 12:54 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • And now everyones calling me/texting me and telling me i have to talk to him and make him feel better cuz the breakups tearing him apart but ive already told him everything i could tell him right now so i dont know what to do. the cop told me to stay away from him in frount of my parents and im living with my parents, im lucky they will watch my daughter while im in college and if it werent for them helping with childcare i dont know how i would accomplish things as much. Any advice on how i should handle Luke? im so sorry if there was a lot of rambleing here i know its probably pretty unorganized.
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 12:54 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Don't go back to him. That's my advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Your on the right track. Keep going to college, stay with your parents. Don't feel sorry for Luke because he sounds like he will be like the first guy you were with anyway. If he said those things to you he will just get worse with time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • You sound like a very level headed women. That knows what she wants out of life. And it's not him. Tell him to get lost.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:00 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Don't go back. Sounds like he's bad news. He needs to grow up and take care of himself before he can commit to anyone else. Sounds like you're doing the right thing by going to school to further your education. Just keeping going. Things will be hard for a few years, but once you get that degree you will have so many possibilities opened up to you. I know it's easier to say then do, but you really need to let Luke know that getting back together will not happen, at least until he is stable on his own. You have no choice but to be parents together and I hope for the sake of your baby Luke is stable enough to be a father. Just take it one day at a time and seek help if you need it. Sounds like your parents are already supportive. Turn to them. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I think that you are a very level headed young woman and you should not go back to a person who would fall to pieces that easily and not respect your wishes. However, (no bashing intended) I often wonder when women say that they aren't ready for that type of commitment when it comes to marrying the father of their child(ren) but are ready for the responsibility and commitment of raising a child with the man. I don't get that.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 1:08 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • My advice is to tell him that it's not a possibility to reunite until he is able to provide for you and your children IF you ever do decide to be engaged/marry him. I doubt it means anything to you but I'm proud of you for giving yourself a better shot at life by going further in school. It's going to be harder with you being pregnant but you can do it :) What he said about your ex and your daughter even in anger was pretty mean and cruel, it would take me a long time to get past that. Think really hard before you let him back in your life again.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:15 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • micrespo: thanks and yes i see the point with the commitment thing too, i really was considering it the whole engagement getting married thing and i was fine with it but i wanted to wait and get everything else settled before i got to that point and he said he would wait but he also promised to get his life together too and he thinks he has alot of time once when talking to him he was like i have 6 whole months to get a job thats along time, but he wasnt trying at all he would say he would but always ask me for money. And i know i can support myself and my kids but i dont want to have to support him he should be able to support himself and if he cant do that hes in no position to get married as well.
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 1:53 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

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