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what to do when your 11 year old is lazy and ungreatful and plays sick all the time to get out of doing stuff?

whats to get out of chores and school work

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Dec. 20, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • I dont have an 11 year old but when my little brother would act up he would get his stuff taken away from him. He never got to miss school. And if he started doing bad my parents would make him stay for tutoring until he got his grades up. They showed him that if he is not willing to help out he wasnt going to get what he wanted. Good luck!

    Answer by Aidansmom2728 at 2:18 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • If they say they are sick then they must go directly to bed. No Television, no video games, no I pod nothing. They will probably get better real soon out of boredom. Also tell them that alternative chores will be waiting for them when they feel better. Nip it the bud now or you will have a really defiant teenager. Trust me, I learned from experience. My 11 year old is the helpful one because of the lessons learned with my oldest.

    If this doesn't work, the next time they want something in the store or a privledge. You tell them that they must work for what they want. Be consistant. I know how easy it is to give into them, out of frustration. Tweens and teens can be manipulative. Be strong mama! ; )

    Answer by CelticFaerie at 3:26 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Grounding to his room, in tandem with a good healthy spanking might snap him out of it.

    Answer by surobb at 5:47 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Going through this myself right now have a 10 almost 11 yo that is just creating havoc in the household, not completing school work, refusing to do homework, chores, we spend more time getting him to do them than it takes to do them. Good Luck and if you get any great ideas PM me with them!!! Thanks.....Julie

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 11:40 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • My 11 year old son has been doing this for several months and i finally had to nerve to take everything away from him...he slowly has earned back some of his previges.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I would hope that this is something that Just started although I have a feeling that it might have been going for a long time. Honestly at this point its gonna take some serious tough love to get this kid up off his butt. But you have to set some giudelines and stick to them. kids have to be tought responsibility long before 11. You cant just wake them up one day and say "ok your 12 now you have to start cleaning up after yourself and helping out with chores" It can be done though with some patience. and like the PPs said there has to be consequences to the actions or nothing is going to work.
    the key is consistancy.

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 9:15 AM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • Simple, you don't let them. You are the parent and you force them to do their chores and their school work. If they are being ungrateful you don't buy them anything and you take what they do have away and make them earn it back.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 1:57 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

  • I thought I was the only one going through this I am so glad I joined cafe mom today ! I have a 12 year old son who whines, pouts, drags his feet etc when asked to do his 2 yes 2 chores ( take out trash, wash dishes) I have tried everything and I end up so frustrated and break into tears before he will do them.......... my problem is this behavior is "occassional" some nights he just does it with a smile on his face ..... but thats only 2 maybe 3 times a week the other 4 days is the 2 yr old temper tantrum tactics .....................

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Dec. 23, 2008

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