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I CAN'T BE WITH HIM ANYMORE, HES INMMATURE AND ETC..?

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOURE HUSBAND INSTEAD OF HELPING U WITH YOURE KIDS ,ACTS LIKE ONE? IM SERIOUSLY TIRED OF HIM. I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM I DONT WANNA B WITH HIM BECAUSE HE ONLY WORKS BUT DOESNT FULLFILL AND APPRECIATE ME ... I COOK, CLEAN,MAKE SURE EVERYTHING HIM AND MY KIDS HAVE WHAT THEY NEED HERE @ HOME... IM FED UP AND IM READY TO CALL IT QUITS.. WHAT WOULD U DO, AND NO IVE TALKED TO HIM AND MENTIONED HE NEEDS TO HELP ME THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE AND SPECIALLY W/OUR KIDS.. SO IT DIDNT WORK...

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starlicious

Asked by starlicious at 3:13 PM on Dec. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • well i would tell him its done he may work but its both of your kids and he needs to atleast help out with them
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 3:15 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • in any marriage, there are going to be days where you are just so fed up you feel like you could just walk away. that's part of it. but if you do find yourself feeling this way everyday:
    sit him down and calmly talk to him. don't attack or cast blame or he'll be on the defensive and won't listen. just calmly tell him how it makes you feel when he acts the way he does, and then give him a turn to talk about his feelings. i think you'll find that if you both commit to making it work, it will. if he's not willing to try though, don't make him.
    relationships are all about communication, so communicate. tell him how much you want it to work and how much it would crush your children to see their parents break a promise they made to each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I would suggest counseling to him. If he doesn't want to go, then go on your own. Sorry to tell you, but even if you leave, you will have to deal with this. I recently left my spouse, and he is still immature, I still do everything for the children, because it's not in their interest to fight with him constantly, but to find a way to resolve or go around his immaturity and take care of my children.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:25 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • dont give up just make it more loud and out there that he needs to help you get his 100% attention dont call it quits just yet this is something that can be fixed with effort from both sides.
    apple-bee-13

    Answer by apple-bee-13 at 3:25 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Not trying to sound harsh, but that is no reason to leave him. Some men feel that as Iong as they go to work they are doing their part (my husband is the same way) but after awhile he began to see how his help was very much needed around the house. Just be patient and talk with him how you feel. It'll sink in after while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • take a weeks vacation somewhere he cant run to you for help and let him realize just what exactly you do for your household, if he still doesn't apperaciate you, you might need to leave after that, but first try leaving him alone with the kids for a week, and tell all of your (and his) friends and family not to help him out while your gone!
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 3:47 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I had left my husband for the same reason as you I couldnt take it no more I told him that I didnt want to be with him no more that i deserve a man not a kid we been seperated for 2 months now and I am alone with my kids, He still calls me that he will change but he been saying that for years so i got tired he comes to see his kids and thats all.
    MommyG203

    Answer by MommyG203 at 4:43 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • Oh i soo am there. I hear you girl. I just left my bf for the same issues... except he didn't work either..(could never keep a job more than a few months). Now that we are done, he still tryes to get back with me, but hardly does anything for our daughter. MEN... I hope there are better single men out there then the ones we have/had. lol. I would seriously though, leave him. If it isn't there anymore, it isn't there, and if you're thinking about it, it's time to move on.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:32 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • I would get counseling first. If you love him and he does have some redeeming qualities -- good father, loving, working... whatever other reasons made you want to call him your husband.. just keep in mind that marriages take work sometimes. Perhaps you can talk to him about needing a day off every week - where he comes home and you go out - WITHOUT the kids. Let him be responsible for chasing kids and feeding them dinner that night.... you go to the gym, have a girls night out, get a pedicure, go see a movie alone, etc. Or tell him to take the kids out so you can take a long bath or a nap. It's about compromise sometimes - finding ways you can both be happy.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 5:56 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

  • It sounds like you don't know much about how marriage works. It is hard, easy, and no one I know has a 50-50 relationship. Talk to him, get counselling. Do you love him? Then work at it. To many marriages end over issues that need work, not hands thrown up and slammed doors. It may take quite a bit of time, but marriage isn't easy and always fun.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:23 PM on Dec. 20, 2008

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